Disclaimer: Kurt and James created Jack and Daniel, but Richard and Michael brought them to life. And I detest disclaimers.

A Walk On The Wild Side

By The Huntress

Authors Note: In this fic, Teal'c didn't learn to drive in '1969'.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jack! Jack, wait up!" Daniel was shouting, running after Jack. "What did I do?" He finally caught up with Jack, grabbing him by the arm, turning him around so their eyes met.

"You kissed her," Jack said, narrowing his eyes at Daniel.

"I did not. She kissed me!" Daniel snapped.

"But you kissed her back!"

"And why do you care?" Daniel asked, a bit intrigued.

"Because...because...." Jack thought quickly. "Because you've been hurt so many times. Every time you meet a woman, you fall for her, and she hurts you, and you get depressed for weeks." Jack's face softened. "I don't like it when you get hurt." Jack placed his palm on Daniel's cheek, stroking his thumb up and down. "Makes me hurt."

Daniel smiled at him. "I don't like it when you hurt." He leaned into Jack's palm, softly sighing. "Jack, why do you *really* care about me kissing her?"

Jack cupped Daniel's chin, looking into his eyes. "Danny I...." He leaned in, tongue wetting his lips, eyes moving to Daniel's lips. He captured Daniel's mouth with gusto, tasting the essence of pure Daniel, getting totally lost.

"Colonel?" Sam's voice broke the reverie, and Jack let Daniel go.

"Jack, don't stop...."

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Daniel...."

"COLONEL!"

Jack's eyes popped open, and he found himself face to face with Major Carter. He glanced around, taking a deep breath. "Major?" He *really* wished he were home, in his bed. These sleepovers at the base were starting to get to him.

"You overslept sir. We leave for P2X-399 in thirty minutes."

Jack sat up abruptly. "I'm up."

"Must've been some dream Colonel. Was she pretty?"

Jack followed Sam's eyes to his crotch, which housed a *very* obvious hard-on. He flushed pink, and shrugged. "Of course." She smiled, leaving, and Jack sighed. "You got over it, over *him*, after Abydos. Why again, after six years? All of a sudden he's not only involved in your waking moments, he's invading your dreams too." The thought of Daniel on his knees, sucking Jack off, got Jack hard again. "Ah Danny, what am I going to do?" He headed off to a quick (cold) shower, and a change of clothes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"OW!"

"Ya know, just once, I would like to go somewhere and not have you get hurt." Jack sighed, helping Daniel to his feet. "Fraiser's going to kill me. She let you out on the promise that I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"It wasn't my fault!" Daniel insisted.

"They said don't touch it Daniel. Didn't they? Huh?"

"I only wanted a closer look."

"Sit down." Daniel sat against a tree, Jack beside him. "Quit complaining."

"I'm not complaining," Daniel pouted. "You never let me do anything. 'Don't touch it Daniel. Don't wander off Daniel. Don't eat that Daniel.' I feel like a six year old sometimes."

"It's for your own good. I'm the one who has to answer to Fraiser the Hun. And don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Daniel asked, tone innocent, but eyes belying *any* kind of innocence.

"Like that. With those eyes big as saucers, with those lips of yours pursed together. Every time you do that, I give in, and then *I* get in trouble." Jack rolled his eyes. "Okay Danny, what do you want. Let's get it over with. You ask, I give in, and I take my punishment like a man when we get home."

"Well," Daniel drawled, "now that you mention it, there was a little something I was going to ask you." He stood up.

"What?" Jack stood as well.

Daniel grinned at him. "Get naked for me?"

"YeahSureYouBetcha." Jack pulled off his jacket, shirt, boots and pants in record time, watching as Daniel did the same, the two standing naked before each other. Daniel felt Jack's hand on his shoulder.

"Danny."

"What else?" Jack asked softly, licking his lips.

"Daniel."

"Suck my dick."

"WHAT!"

Daniel fell off his chair, straight onto the floor. He blinked in the light, staring up at Jack. "Uh...uh...."

"Another night spent at your desk, huh? Get your ass up, and ready to leave in fifteen minutes."

Daniel stood up. "Coffee?" Jack just glared at him. "No coffee. That's fine. I mean it's not fine, but...dressed, fifteen minutes, ready to leave, no problem."

Jack grinned at him. "It's against regulations to go through the Stargate with a wet spot."

Daniel's jaw dropped open, and he slowly looked down, seeing the remnants of his wet dream. He didn't have the nerve to meet Jack's eyes.

"Make it twenty minutes Daniel, and take a shower." He turned to leave, but turned back, seeing Daniel standing there, still staring at his feet. Jack felt that he had to do *something*. He moved back across the room, taking his index finger, lifting Daniel's chin so their eyes met. "Sha'uri, Danny?"

Daniel frowned. "No, it wasn't."

Jack put his hand on Daniel's shoulder, smiling gently. "It's okay, Daniel. I know Sha'uri is gone, but your life has gone on. Dreaming about another woman doesn't mean you never loved your wife." He ruffled Daniel's hair, knowing that would get him a smile and a shove, and stepped back, palms up in defeat. "Twenty minutes, babe. Don't be late or Hammond will have my ass again. I told him I've been teaching you military protocol. Don't make a liar out of me." Jack left, totally oblivious to the endearment he had used.

Daniel, of course, heard it loud and clear, and pondered it as he walked to the locker room. 'Babe? He never calls Sam 'babe'. He'd get a knee in the nuts, and a right hook to the jaw. Teal'c...never mind.' Daniel entered the locker room, getting undressed, heading to the shower. 'Maybe I hallucinated it. Or it was a slip of the tongue.' Daniel washed quickly, dried off, got changed, smiling at his new uniform. He hadn't even realized he had 'outgrown' his, until he got a hole in his BDU's, (courtesy of an explosion), and Sergeant Packer gave him a bigger size.

Cassie had told him he was looking good, like he had been working out. That, of course, made him blush, and it also made him take a good look at himself in the mirror. Not that he was anywhere close to Jack, but he sure as hell wasn't the 'ninety-eight pound weakling' anymore. "Must be the missions," he chuckled to himself. He took a look at his watch, "Oh shit," and hauled his ass to the embarkation room, arriving as the Stargate was opening. The sight, even after so many years, still gave him a sense of awe.

"You're late Daniel," Jack snorted, turning to Sam. "You owe me fifty bucks."

"You bet that I would be late?" Daniel was fighting a laugh. "And Jack, you bet against me? I'm hurt, deeply hurt."

"Easiest fifty I ever made," Jack grinned at Daniel. "Here." He stuffed a thermos into Daniel's hands. "It's made of Titanium. Guys at NASA made it for deep space flights. Major Carter feels it should survive the gate, unlike the last four thermos' you had. And I'm sorry it doesn't have Buzz Lightyear on it." Jack looked genuinely sympathetic. "Jamaican blend...your favorite."

Before Daniel could say thank you, Jack followed Sam and Teal'c through the gate. 'First babe, now coffee?' Daniel paused before entering the gate, shaking his head. 'No. That's what friends do for one another.' Having come to this conclusion, Daniel entered the event horizon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Their mission was to make direct contact with the locals, who seemed peaceful through observation, and were uncaring about the UAV that flew over their village, landing in the middle of it. They basically ignored it, and went about their daily lives.

Daniel had noticed in some of the video, that etchings on their buildings appeared to be Egyptian, but the language the natives spoke was basic English...hearing a woman shout 'Shit' had made that very clear. Teal'c had pointed out that there was a second gate in the village, something he had never seen before. They sent a few more things through, and they all arrived at the first gate. Why nothing had arrived at the second gate, that piqued their curiosity, and all agreed it should be investigated. The village, however, was two days away from the first gate. The team began to walk, the ATV carrying the heavy equipment.

Daniel bent over to pick up his pack, and Jack licked his lips, taking a deep breath.

'Memo to Sergeant Packer...Doctor Jackson is not to have a new uniform issued without warning me first. My heart cannot take the strain of seeing him like this. The pants are too tight, and show every curve of his ass, which is causing all the blood in my brain to rush south, to another part of my anatomy. Ergo, my pants are now too tight as well.'

As per usual, Daniel took the lead, ready to race to the village, meet the new people, and learn what he could.

Jack just got a better look at his ass.

'On second thought, just give me a larger pair of pants. I just got me enough fuel for my next dozen fantasies.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Day One, First Hour

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I should have stayed in bed this morning," Jack groaned.

"Yeah, you should have," Daniel sighed. "Then we wouldn't have to listen to your bitching and moaning."

Teal'c pondered this for a moment. "DanielJackson, I thought moaning was something that was done in a bedroom situation."

Sam laughed. "He's been watching dirty movies."

Jack raised an eyebrow at Teal'c, in true Teal'c style. "How did you get your hands on an X-rated film?"

"O'Neill," Teal'c started, "DanielJackson and I went to the mall, and I went to the video store. I made use of the Visa card that was on your desk. It was accepted at the video store with no problem."

Jack nearly choked. "That's a military card, and those charges need to be approved by General Hammond. Wonderful. Now I have to explain to the General that our friendly neighborhood Jaffa has been watching skin flicks."

"I find them...educational," Teal'c said solemnly. "Although I cannot figure out what a 'gang-bang' is."

"You and Daniel are going to have a talk when we get back."

Daniel stared at Jack. "Daniel? Why me?"

"Because you're the scientist. I'm a grunt, remember?"

A few moments later, a thought popped into Daniel's head. "Teal'c, don't you have to have a membership to rent movies?"

Teal'c shrugged. "The man in the store saw the name on the Visa, and pulled up an account in O'Neill's name. He also said two more rentals, and you get to pick out the toy of your choice. I would like to get a Slinky."

Sam and Daniel began to giggle, and Jack could have sworn he saw Teal'c's mouth turn up a bit. Jack narrowed his eyes. "Next one to laugh, and the General finds out what *really* happened to his car." The giggles stopped. "Good."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Day One, Third Hour

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"It was Sam's idea to teach Teal'c to drive!" Daniel blurted out. "I wanted to teach him to ride a bike. But nooo, she says he's been here six years, let him learn to drive a car."

"You let him watch 'Bullitt' before we got into the car!" Sam snapped.

"Why the General's car?" Jack asked.

"The only one with an automatic shift sir," Sam answered, shrugging. "I didn't want to start Teal'c off with a stick shift."

"O'Neill," Teal'c asked, "is it true that 'a yellow light means drive like hell because it's going to turn red'?"

"Who told you that?" Jack asked, throwing a menacing look at Sam and Daniel.

"MajorCarter. Did she...bend the truth?"

Jack laughed. "No, actually, that's exactly what it means."

"He should know," Daniel smirked. "He's had thirteen speeding tickets in the last six months."

"Sixteen," Jack said proudly.

"I want to know how you keep your license," Daniel said.

"Well, you know that masked woman we saw that night we went to the Jell-O match? She's the Police Chief's wife."

"Ah, blackmail," Teal'c said, nodding.

"Of course. You don't think the only thing I learned in Black Ops was how to kill and maim, do ya?"

"Can we stop for lunch? I'm hungry." Daniel didn't wait for an answer, he walked to a shaded area, and sat down. "MRE's for everyone. On me."

"Gee Daniel," Sam smiled, sitting beside him, "you are sooo generous."

Teal'c dug through their supplies. "I decided to try my hand at making lunches again." He pulled out a small cooler.

"Uh, T," Jack said, grimacing, "this lunch isn't going to move, like the last one you made, is it?"

"I like my food...not purple," Daniel added, a green tinge coming to his face.

"You did bring ketchup, didn't you Teal'c?" Sam asked, a bit apprehensively.

"I do not believe one puts ketchup on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, SamanthaCarter," Teal'c said, handing them each a plastic baggie. "MajorFeretti gave me instructions. They are to be made on Wonder bread, with Peter Pan peanut butter, and Welch's grape jelly, and served with chocolate milk."

"Now that's my kind of lunch," Daniel smiled, as he and the others each grabbed a sandwich and a milk.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Day One, Fifth Hour

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Xena is a lesbian," Teal'c said, out of the blue. The other three stopped, staring at him. "Is this not true?"

"Well Teal'c," Daniel began, "In ancient Greek times, same sex relationships were common and accepted."

"Yeah, she is," Jack said, shrugging. "Hercules too. I mean, not a lesbian obviously, but you *know* he's banging his partner."

Daniel smiled. "Well, that does have some basis in mythology. Hercules and his nephew Iolaus were lovers, you know...'women for babies, men for pleasure.'"

"Whoever said that, never met Xena," Sam chuckled.

"That's *more* then I wanted to know," Jack added.

"Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg are lovers," Daniel said.

Jack's mouth dropped open. "Hey! I watch that show. Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg do *not* do it. They're best friends, Sentinel and Guide, cop partners. Nothing more." He paused. "Although that episode, where their animal spirits merged...yeah, I guess I could see it."

"Chakotay and Paris," Sam sighed.

Jack and Daniel looked at each other. "EWWWW!!"

"MajorCarter," Teal'c said, frowning, "you have just ruined my enjoyment of 'Voyager'. I shall never be able to look at Chakotay and Tom the same way."

"Tom?" Jack smiled.

"Is that not his name?"

"Well, yeah, T, but you never call anyone by their first name. I'm O'Neill, he's DanielJackson, and Sam, well, she's either MajorCarter or SamanthaCarter."

"You called me 'Sam' sir."

"And...."

"We're on duty sir."

"Oh, right. *Major*."

"Thank you sir."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After seven hours, the sun was setting, and the team began to set up camp.

Teal'c and Carter dropped their gear, and set up their tent in moments. They unpacked the necessary items, then began to gather wood for a fire, Teal'c digging the pit, Carter getting the flames started. They worked together smoothly, the blond and the huge Jaffa like two halves of a whole.

Sam glanced over at Jack and Daniel, and bit back a snort as she watched them. Such an unlikely pair, Jack the brawn, Daniel the brains. Then again, over the years, she had seen them take on the characteristics of each other. Jack putting the many brains he had, and frequently kept hidden, to better use, and Daniel getting a bit more physical.

And Jack and Daniel, like Teal'c and Sam, worked like two halves of a whole...in their own unique way.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack decided on a spot for his and Daniel's tent. They always shared. He tried sharing with Teal'c a few times in the beginning, but Teal'c snored, and Jack had been kept awake one too many nights. So for six years, he had shared a tent with Daniel. After all that time, their tent should have been set up, and their packs unpacked, within moments. But being that they were Jack and Daniel, or, as Janet liked to call them, Goofus and Gallant....

"I don't like this spot," Daniel said. "Let's put it over there." He pointed.

"I don't like that spot." Jack shook his head. "How 'bout there?"

"That's a nice spot," Daniel nodded.

"Okay, there," Jack agreed. He took off his jacket, sat down, and dug into his pack, pulling out his perennial favorite, a Nestle's Crunch bar. "Okay Daniel, do you remember how to set up the tent?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Yes Jack. These are automatic pop-up tents, created by NASA. You just pull this little rod here, and...AHHHH!!"

"Danny, you're supposed to stand away, then pull the rod."

Daniel rolled off the top of the tent. "Thanks Jack." He glanced at Jack's hands. "You gonna share that?" He reached for the candy bar, but Jack pulled his hand back, holding the candy bar protectively against his chest.

"Don't touch my Crunch, Daniel, or I will be forced to kill you."

"Then I'm not sharing the beer."

"What beer Daniel? We don't got no stinking beer." Daniel snickered, and Jack's eyes lit up. "We have beer?" Daniel smiled. "Okay, here's the Crunch. Now, gimme the beer."

Daniel quickly scarfed down the chocolate. "I don't have any beer Jack."

"But you said…."

"I said I'm not sharing the beer. I never said I had any here. I have two six packs in my refrigerator."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "You are so dead, Jackson."

"Teal'c!" Daniel yelled. "I'm being threatened again."

Teal'c looked up from the fire, sighing. "What did you do this time, DanielJackson?"

"What makes you think I did something?" Daniel asked, looking totally innocent.

"Because you usually do," Teal'c answered, in his usual solemn manner.

"He told me he had beer," Jack said. "He lied."

"DanielJackson, do you not realize that telling Colonel O'Neill you have beer, when in fact you have none, can be hazardous to your health and well-being?"

"You have a death wish Daniel?" Sam asked, smiling at him. She glanced at Teal'c, and the two, once again, tuned out Jack and Daniel.

Daniel stuck his tongue out at them, and turned back to the tent. "Hey! Jack, get out of my stuff!"

"Whatcha got in here, Dannyboy? Inquiring minds want to know." Jack was tossing things out, and all over the place. "Damn, why do you *always* need all this shit?" He suddenly stopped, and turned to Daniel. "Uh, Daniel, can you explain...." Jack turned around as he spoke, two romance novels in his hand. "We've been sleeping together...er, I mean sharing a tent...for six years now. How come I never knew you read these things?"

"Gimme those Jack!" Daniel snapped, taking the books away. He crawled out of the tent, Jack following. "And move the tent. It's facing the wrong way."

Jack blinked at him. "What do you mean, facing the wrong way? It doesn't matter. I'm not moving it."

"Yes, you are."

"No, Daniel. This tent is staying right where it is." He nodded, agreeing with himself, but Daniel didn't back down. Daniel just stood there with his arms folded, pouting at Jack.

"You can make those eyes all you want Daniel. I am *not* falling for it this time." Jack averted Daniel's eyes, determined the tent stay put.

"Please Jack?"

Jack glanced up, into the pleading puppy-dog eyes, and instantly caved. "Okay Danny, where *should* it go?" Daniel pointed, Jack sighed, and moved the tent. "Now, why was it the wrong way?"

Daniel smiled, cheeks turning pink. "I, umm, just wanted to see if you would do it, that's all."

"I hate you Daniel."

"I know Jack."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"See Carter," Jack grinned. "Didn't I tell you a wienie roast was better then standard MRE's?" He then turned to Daniel. "So, do you really think Ellison and Sandburg are a couple? Just because they live together, doesn't mean...."

"It's the slash sir," Sam grinned.

"Slash?" Jack asked.

"Stories, Jack," Daniel explained. "Fan fiction."

"*Adult* fan fiction," Sam clarified. "Usually two men in love, but it could be two women. My favorite is Chakotay and...."

All three men cut her off. "Don't mention it!"

"Okay," she said softly.

"I enjoy the stories based on a TV show I discovered, about the Mountie and the Chicago policeman," Teal'c said, nodding, a small smile coming to his face.

"Which Ray?" Sam asked, grinning.

"Aww, come on Sam," Daniel said. "Can you picture Benton with Vecchio?"

"Now that rates an 'ewww'," Sam laughed.

"How'd you discover slash?" Daniel asked Teal'c.

"MajorFeretti said that fan fiction was a way for the 'little people' to express what they would like to see. I found the slash by accident, but have found it most enjoyable."

"I can't believe this." Jack shook his head. "My team is made up of perverts."

Daniel stared at him. "*You* mentioned the ancient Greeks."

"It's kinda blatant on those shows."

"Haven't you heard of fan fiction sir?"

"Of course I have Carter. I don't live in a vacuum. Even wrote some once." At their looks, he quickly added, "Nothing perverse though. I was a kid."

"Do tell," Daniel prompted him.

"No."

"C'mon Jack. You can tell us. We won't tell anyone. Promise. Right guys?" Sam and Teal'c nodded. "See. Now spill."

"I...I saved the Jupiter Two, okay. And I got to do away with Don West, and have Judy all to myself."

"Cool," Daniel grinned.

Jack smiled back, a genuine Jack special, reserved only for Daniel. He thought of Daniel's tight ass, and let himself have a fantasy....

Jack walks into Daniel's office, smiling at the sight of Daniel at the PC, typing away. "You work too hard Danny. You need to take a break."

"What do you want Jack?" Daniel asks.

"Stand up." Daniel does as he is told. "Take off your shirt." Once again Daniel obeys, pulling his shirt off, tossing it aside. "It turns me on when you follow orders Danny."

They stare at each other for a moment, then Jack makes a move, pulling Daniel's lips to his. Daniel tries to pull away, but Jack doesn't let go, sticking his tongue deep, sucking on Daniel's. He breaks the kiss, watching Daniel catch his breath. "Because I wanted to," Jack says. "Want me to do it again?" He gets a nod, this time sliding his hand to the back of Daniel's neck, this kiss soft and seductive, before deepening it. Jack's hands caress down Daniel's body, feeling the hardness within the confines of Daniel's pants. Undoing them with one hand, his other finds its way inside Daniel's pants, fingers sneaking under the waistband of his briefs, running a thumb over the tip of the erect cock, feeling the wetness. "You like?" Not waiting for an answer, Jack initiates another kiss. Daniel pushes against his hand, and he moans into Daniel's mouth. "I want out of my underwear."

"I can help you with that," Daniel says, pulling the underwear down, tossing it aside. His own follow a moment later, and the two men rub against each other, taking each other's cock in hand, jerking each other off, lips staying locked.

Jack then takes things a bit further. Moving a hand to Daniel's ass, he brushes a finger along the crack, teasing, moaning as Daniel's muscles pull it inside. "Does that feel good?"

"Do it some more Jack. Please?"

Jack grins, and slides a second finger in, feeling Daniel begin to move against them. He kisses Daniel's neck, down his chest, while his fingers push deeper, eliciting deeper moans from Daniel. He brings his lips to one nipple, laving it softly, then moves to the other, sucking hard. He kisses his way further down, reaching the cock that is hard and erect. Circling the head with his tongue, he suckles the tip, bringing his tongue up and down the length, fingers still sliding in and out of Daniel's hole. Hand wrapping around the base, he slowly brings his mouth down, the taste of the precome making him dizzy. Relaxing his throat, he takes more in, until he swallows Daniel whole.

"Ahh, Jack...oh God...oh please...finish me...."

"Jack are you with us?" Daniel asked.

Jack blinked. "I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Now that's a scary thought," Daniel chuckled, totally immune to the look of death that Jack shot him.

"I *really* hate you Daniel," Jack sneered.

"It is my one goal in life, to be the bane of your existence."

"And you do such a good job of it." Jack smiled, and was more then pleased to see Daniel grin back at him. It was a sight he didn't see too often anymore. And Daniel was beautiful when he smiled like that. Beautiful, trusting...beautiful. The word kept popping into Jack's head. He opened his mouth to say, 'I would give my very soul to make love with you Danny.' But what came out was, "So, who's taking first watch?"

"I will sir," Sam said. "Then Teal'c can relieve me, and I can get some rest."

"Yep," Jack nodded. "He snores louder then an elephant."

Teal'c went into his tent, Jack and Daniel to theirs.

Carter sat back, roasted another wienie, and thought about a certain Jaffa sleeping alone....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Daniel, how come we only have one pillow?"

"It's mine and I'm not sharing. You should have checked the supplies before we left."

"Fine, then I'm not sharing my before bed snack." Jack sat in the middle of their sleeping bags. Over the years, they had found it easier to put one bag on the ground, and use the second as a blanket, as neither man slept well in the confines of a sleeping bag.

"Whatcha got this time?" Daniel asked like a little kid, peering over Jack's shoulder, as Jack went through his pack.

"Only if you share your pillow."

"Aww, okay Jack." Daniel lay the pillow between them. "Now, whatcha got?"

Jack grinned, and took out two Twinkies. "Fifth food group."

"I love Twinkies," Daniel grinned back.

"I know." Jack finished his in two bites, and pulled off his shoes. The weather was warm, and Daniel, like Jack, was in a t-shirt. This night was going to give Jack some new jerking-off material. 'When did Daniel get so...buff?' Jack had noticed the muscles that had been building on Daniel's arms before, but he hadn't *looked* until now. He wanted to touch them, but, as was always the case when he wanted to touch, he needed an excuse. "Time for sleep Danny."

"I'm not tired Jack," Daniel said, stifling a yawn while he worked on his laptop.

"Yes you are. You slept in your office last night, which means you probably got an hour of rest." Jack smiled. "I need you awake and alert when we greet the natives."

"I'll go to sleep in a little while." Daniel stifled another yawn.

Jack moved over, kneeling behind Daniel. He removed Daniel's hands from the laptop, hit save, and shut down the program. "Relax," he whispered in Daniel's ear, turning off the lantern. He gently pushed Daniel onto his back, propping his head up in his palm, smiling at Daniel. Daniel opened his mouth, but Jack placed a finger on Daniel's lips, shaking his head. "No talking. No thinking." Jack moved two fingers onto Daniel's temple, massaging softly. "Sleep."

"I am..." Daniel yawned, eyes closing, "...kinda tired."

"That's it Danny. Let everything else go." Jack's voice was barely a whisper, but loud enough for Daniel to hear. "Sleep for me." He kept up the soothing massage, watching Daniel drift off to sleep. It was a Black Ops technique, a form of mild hypnosis, and he didn't use it with Daniel often. Only when, in his opinion, Daniel wasn't getting enough rest. As with every time he used this technique, when Daniel fell into a deep sleep, he rolled into Jack's arms, and Jack held him close, protectively. If he tried to let Daniel go, Daniel just pressed closer. So Jack would hold him all night.

Daniel had woken up in that position more then once, but never questioned it. The first time, he had woken to the sight of Jack's soft brown eyes, felt Jack's strong arms around him, but before he could ask how it happened, he heard Jack's whisper.

"You needed me."

The statement was so pure, so simple, that Daniel, talkative, scholarly Daniel, just nodded. He had known Jack a long time. No questions were asked.

As Daniel slept, Jack held him close, pressing his lips softly upon Daniel's. "I love you Spacemonkey. And I'll never be able to tell you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sam yawned, and went into her tent to wake Teal'c. "Your turn to be the doberman."

"I am not a dog," Teal'c whispered, indignant.

"No, you're a horse, and I intend to 'ride 'em cowboy' the next chance we get."

"Samantha, are O'Neill and DanielJackson...."

"Nope. Just cuddling as usual. How about, when you wake the Colonel for his shift, you come in here and teach me a few new tricks."

"We shall see, Samantha."

"Oooh, I just love it when you call me Samantha," she sighed.

"Go to sleep, MajorCarter. I am officially on my watch."

"I don't love you anymore Teal'c," she pouted.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at her. "And I do not love you any less." He smiled at her, and took his place at the fire.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Teal'c was done with his shift, and opened the flap to Jack and Daniel's tent, ready to wake his CO. He tilted his head, taking in the sight of the two men.

Daniel was sprawled across Jack, head buried in Jack's chest, Jack's arms wrapped around Daniel. Daniel turned over, and Jack followed, not letting go. Jack kissed Daniel softly, murmuring, "Love you Danny."

Jaffa hearing was sensitive enough to hear the soft whispered words, said, even in sleep, with passion. Teal'c didn't have the heart to wake them.

"You Tau'ri are so dense." Being that Teal'c required less rest then his teammates, he opted to allow them sleep, and went back to his watch. He glanced at his own tent. "I shall endure the wrath of SamanthaCarter at a later date. I am a Jaffa, I can take it." As nobody was around, he allowed himself a full-fledged grin. "And she always has an interesting way of punishing me."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Daniel woke up, in Jack's arms, feeling the hardness pressed into his leg. 'Now, Daniel,' he thought, feeling his own hard-on, 'you have two choices. You can gently pull away, and act as if nothing is going on, or you can scoot down there, rip down those pants, and get yourself a taste.' He sighed. 'However, being that you've never been with a man before, you'll make a fool out of yourself, do everything wrong, and Jack will laugh at you.' That thought killed his erection. It was still dark, but the fresh smell of coffee hit his nose, and he quietly sat up, not wanting to disturb Jack. He put on his boots, and turned to crawl out, but a hand rested on his leg.

"Where ya goin'?" Jack muttered, still half asleep.

"Coffee."

Jack's eyes slowly opened. "Sleep okay?"

Daniel nodded. "Good sleep. Didn't realize I was so tired." He heard his stomach growl. "You could leave a post-hypnotic suggestion, that I don't need any breakfast."

"Huh?"

"Jack, I'm the one with multiple PhD's here. Did you really think that you could put me to sleep if I didn't want you to?"

"How long have you known?"

"A while." Daniel gave him a soft smile. "And thanks for caring about me." He crawled out of the tent.

"Always Danny," Jack whispered to himself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sam and Teal'c took down their tent, put out the fire, and packed up their supplies.

Jack was watching Daniel study the tent. "C'mon Daniel. Deflate 'supertent' so we can finish packing up."

"Just a second Jack." Daniel peered down, nodded, and pushed the rod back into it's holder. "OWW!" He jumped back, holding his hand.

"I told ya to be careful, didn't I?" Jack took Daniel's hand in his, looking it over, seeing a small bruise. "You'll live." Before Jack knew what he was doing, he kissed the welt. "Better?"

Daniel looked up, with a deer-in-headlights look. "Yeah." He nodded. "It's fine."

"Glad I could help."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Day Two, First Hour

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Why are Frosted Flakes great?" Teal'c asked.

"One of the mysteries of the universe," Jack snorted.

"Why are Trix just for kids?"

"I dunno Teal'c," Sam answered. "Me personally, I would share with the rabbit."

"*Me* personally, I would forget about the Trix, and roast the rabbit," Jack laughed. "Braised, with an orange sauce."

"Why are Barbie and Ken not anatomically correct?"

"You're just loaded with questions, aren't ya Teal'c?" Jack asked. "I think you've been watching too much TV."

"Don't listen to him Teal'c," Daniel said. "You go right on asking those questions. Asking questions is the only way to learn."

"Daniel," Jack warned, "don't encourage him. Next thing you know, he's gonna want to know why Lucky Charms are magically delicious, or if the Road Runner is real."

"I believe that the Road Runner is a bit sadistic," Teal'c said. "And why does the coyote keep ordering items from the Acme company? He should try another supplier. The Acme company carries defective items."

"Only to the coyote Teal'c," Jack couldn't help the giggle. "Only to the coyote."

Daniel heard Jack giggle, and his heart skipped a beat. In six years, he had *never* heard Jack giggle. Jack sometimes seemed more relaxed on alien planets then on Earth. He smiled to himself as he studied Jack's face. 'I wish he'd take off those sunglasses.' Daniel almost willed it. 'I love those brown eyes. They try to look so tough, but I know how soft they can be. Such beautiful eyes....' Daniel smiled to himself, staring into space, imagination taking over....

Jack had Daniel on his hands and knees, kneeling between his legs. "No lube available." His hand wound in Daniel's hair, and he pulled Daniel's mouth to his cock. "Wet me down." Daniel sucked on the tip, feeling his mouth being pushed down harder. Looking up, he saw Jack's eyes, wide in lust, in love, as he enjoyed Daniel. "Ahhh, yeah...just like that." Jack moaned. "That's it...get it slick so I can slide it in." After a few minutes, Jack pulled Daniel's head away, rubbing the wetness up and down his cock. "Turn over. Time for me to pop your cherry."

Daniel just stared at him, not sure he had heard right. "W-w-what?"

"Don't be nervous baby. It's gonna feel sooo good. Come on, you know you want to."

Daniel blinked, feeling the pain in his crotch. He glanced down, nearly stumbling.

"You okay Danny?" Jack asked. Taking off his shades, he got a nod from Daniel, then put them back on. He nearly missed the look in Daniel's eyes. Was Daniel really leering at him? He shook his head. 'No way O'Neill. You just need some down time...and you need to get yourself seriously laid.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Day Two, Fourth Hour

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"If the professor were so smart," Jack said, "why were the castaways stranded on the island for so many years? He could have given MacGyver a run for his money."

"Where did Ginger get all those clothes?" Sam asked.

"I wanted Mary Ann," Daniel smiled. "Ginger was a bimbo. Er, I mean airhead. Um, I meant...."

"Bimbo, Daniel," Sam smiled, "definitely bimbo."

"If Lucy were my wife," Teal'c said solemnly, "I would have sent her for obedience training."

"If Ethel were my wife," Jack laughed, "I would have shot her."

"I never would have married Fred," Sam chuckled.

"I wanted that job in the candy factory," Daniel added.

"M&M's *do* melt in your hand," Jack sighed to himself, glancing at Daniel's rear. 'And they'd melt on Daniel's ass too. Damn, that is one hot ass.'

Daniel was doing a little subtle looking on his own. 'Broad shoulders, strong muscles. I'd like to ride that body into the sunset and beyond.'

Jack licked his lips. 'Why did he have to get a new uniform? The old one fit fine. It was baggy, and didn't show every curve.'

"Sir? Daniel? Are you two okay?" Sam's voice broke their thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, Carter. I could use a cold beer about now," Jack said, nodding to her.

"Icehouse or Bud?" Daniel asked.

Jack smiled. "Bud from the bottle..."

"...Icehouse on tap," Daniel finished for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Over the course of the day, the topics of conversation had become more inane.

Jack and Sam argued over who could kick Goa'uld ass quicker -- Klingons or Romulans. Daniel casually mentioned the Borg could do it quickest, Teal'c concurred, and that conversation ended.

Then Teal'c wanted to know why the dinosaurs died out, (to which Jack replied, "a big rock"), why people were obsessed with Oprah's weight, ("Because we have no lives," Sam had answered), and which Brady girl and boy they liked best. The other three all favored Marcia, while the big, bad Jaffa thought Cindy and her lisp were cute.

Jack, Sam, and Daniel had a TV theme sing-a-long, but it was no fun with Teal'c, who mocked the theme from Bonanza, getting him three deadly glares.

Sam admitted a secret addiction to All My Children, while Jack admitted to watching, and enjoying, The Facts Of Life.

Sam and Daniel discussed using the 'super computer' at Cheyenne Mountain to calculate the winning Lottery numbers, and to reserve the best seats for concerts.

Jack talked about the Avalanche's new line-up...to himself. No one else was interested.

Five hours later, the sun was setting, and Jack decided that they should rest, and meet the natives after a good night's sleep.

"I feel like we just packed everything up," Sam groaned.

"Well, time to unload it again, boys and girls," Jack chuckled. He turned to Daniel. "Okay, smartass, the tent is going *there*, and if you don't like it, tough." Jack opened the tent with ease, shaking his head. "Five degrees, all that education, and you have a difficult time setting up a tent." This time, he decided to start the fire himself, allowing Teal'c and Carter a few minutes alone. He smiled, as he couldn't think of a more unlikely pair then those two. And Jack was quite happy that Chulak marriages were not monogamous, or there would have been a bloodbath when Drey'auc found out. As it was, Sam had begun to travel to Chulak when Teal'c went home, and the burly Jaffa usually needed a day to recuperate from his visit when he returned. Major Carter, however, always seemed well rested.

Fire started, Jack sat back, glancing over to his tent. He heard Daniel mumbling, and decided to see what he was doing. He found Daniel taking things out of *his* pack. "Get outta my stuff!" he yelled, pulling Daniel back, knocking him off his feet.

"You went through *my* stuff Jack! Fair is fair."

"Daniel...." It was a warning growl.

"Don't growl at me, Jonathan O'Neill. After six years, I *know* your bark is worse then your bite." He narrowed his eyes. "And, after six years, it's about time I found out what you take along on our little trips." He leaned in, breath hot on Jack's face. "Sit Jack."

"I am *not* your dog Daniel, and you can't tell me to...."

"SIT!"

Jack pretty much fell on his ass in shock, thinking about slugging Daniel, but opted to humor the younger man. "Daniel, we've been together six years. You *know* what I pack, and I know what *you* pack."

"Then how come the Black Ops trained Colonel didn't know his archaeologist read romance novels? Hmm?"

'*His* archaeologist'. That sounded really good to Jack, and he opened his mouth to say something along the lines of 'Oh you're mine, all right'. But on second thought, he decided to shut up, knowing he wouldn't get a word in edgewise. Daniel was on a rant.

"Now, I am going to rifle your stuff just like you went through mine."

Jack's mouth dropped open when Daniel got on his knees, and bent over the pack, every sexy curve of his ass showing plainly. Jack had to consciously fight the urge to jump Daniel, tear his pants off, and fuck him silly.

Daniel, oblivious to the slight drooling his ass was causing, pulled out Jack's standard reading material...Guns and Ammo and Field & Stream. 'Ah here's something new,' he thought, finding a few Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic books. He raised an eyebrow at Jack, holding up the copy of Good Housekeeping.

Jack shrugged. "Recipes."

Daniel then pulled out six more Crunch bars, a box of crackers, a can of spray cheese, a pack of bubble-gum, two decks of cards, both marked, and Jack's Game Boy. "How do you fit all this stuff in there?" Then a book, which Daniel stared at, reading the title a few times, making sure he was reading it right. "The Librarian Stripped At Midnight? I'm gonna assume, by the picture, that it's not a Perry Mason mystery."

"Everybody's got a kink," Jack grinned, reaching for the book.

"And yours is...." Daniel prompted.

Jack reached for the book again, and Daniel nearly dropped it, the cover coming off the hardback. Once again, Daniel stared at the title. "Jack, why is the book inside the cover titled 'Archaeology For Beginners'?"

Jack looked a bit sheepish. "I sorta didn't want to be ignorant anymore, about some of the stuff you've been talking about for all these years."

Daniel smiled at him, a warm smile straight from his heart. "Thanks Jack." He then changed gears again, emptying the pack. More ridiculous items, including Silly Putty, a paddleball, and... "Planning to get lucky Colonel?" In Daniel's hand was a box of condoms. "And with whom?" He pulled out a tube of lube.

'Enough is enough,' Jack thought. He leered at Daniel, looking Daniel up and down, blatantly undressing Daniel with his eyes.

Daniel's own grin faded, reading the signals all wrong. As Jack crawled towards him, Daniel swallowed hard, wondering if, after all these years, Jack was going to go through with the long-standing threat of beating the shit out of him. He quickly reached into the pack again, pulling out a photograph, looking down at it, and froze. "Jack? Where did you get this?" He held it up. It was a picture of Jack and Daniel on Abydos, so many years before. Neither man was posed. Daniel was standing in the middle of the desert, and Jack was looking at him. Daniel noticed that in the picture, Jack looked lost.

"That was just after you told me you were staying." Jack's whole demeanor changed, and he backed off, the lust gone from his eyes. "Lou took it, and gave it to me after we got back. So I wouldn't forget."

"Forget about Abydos, Jack?"

"No. Forget about you." Jack turned around, and went back to the fire. He heard the noise from the other tent, and gave a small smile, turning back to Daniel, whose head was peeking out of the tent. "I love you Danny." It was whispered, but Daniel heard.

"Jack, did you just say....?" Daniel came out of the tent, joining Jack at the fire.

Jack nodded. "Ah, Danny, I left Abydos with a hole in my heart."

"You love me?"

"Yeah, I do. I been carrying condoms on missions for years now, hoping."

"You love me." Daniel repeated it.

"Yes he loves you Daniel," Sam said, coming out of her tent, looking a bit disheveled. Her face, however, was almost glowing. "Now, you two can work on your relationship after supper."

"Thanks, Doctor Ruth," Jack deadpanned.

Teal'c came crawling out a moment later, catching his breath. Seeing the other two men, he quickly composed himself. "We are ready to eat dinner. MajorCarter suggests the MRE's. I, however, would like more of those...wienies."

"You got it Teal'c. But first, an appetizer...." Jack faced Daniel, sliding a hand behind Daniel's neck, pulling their lips close. "I love you Daniel." He kissed Daniel, softly at first, allowing Daniel to deepen the kiss, taking his fill, and pulling away. Daniel's mouth followed, wanting more, and Jack chuckled. "Later, baby. That was just a taste of what's to come." He turned back to the other two, a smile on his face. "Well, get the wienies."

Jack removed them from their container. "This shit NASA comes up with is ass-kicking. They still feel refrigerated." He, Teal'c, and Daniel, proceeded to roast their hot dogs, with Sam finally giving up on the MRE, and joining them.

"Now," she said, watching her dinner slowly cook, "NASA needs to invent an instant roasted hotdog."

"That would take all the fun out of it," Jack said, shaking his head.

Jack managed to eat one hotdog, but his attentions were on Daniel.

Daniel looked up to see Jack staring at him, and dropped his food, going into their tent.

"You two are on watch." Jack followed Daniel into the tent.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack crawled in to see Daniel's second shoe come off, and he sat beside him, removing his own. He grinned at Daniel, and leaned in for a kiss.

"What about Teal'c and Sam?"

Jack nodded, and stuck his head out of the flap. "Uh, guys, I'm gonna make love with Daniel now."

"Okay sir," Sam said cheerfully, as if Jack had said 'Good night.'

"It is about time O'Neill," Teal'c added.

Jack turned back to Daniel, whose mouth was hanging open. "See, that wasn't so difficult." He slid his arm around Daniel's waist, pulling Daniel's body to his, kissing Daniel's neck.

"Jack," Daniel's voice cracked, "what if we get attacked?"

"Nothing to worry about," Jack whispered, pulling off Daniel's shirt, his own following. "I don't have to be dressed to fire my weapon. Black Ops basic survival, lesson six. Living naked, in the wilderness, for seven days, with only an MP5 for company." He undid his pants, pulling them, and his boxers, off.

"Snoopy underwear, Jack?"

"Tell anyone, and they'll never find the body." Jack undid Daniel's pants, sliding them slowly down Daniel's body, taking in the sight of Daniel's bare skin, staring.

"Something the matter Jack?"

Jack grinned. "Nope. And I promise not to tell anyone that you wear Batman briefs."

He picked up the condoms, but Daniel shook his head.

"Nobody is cleaner then we are, Jack. We get examined more often, and more thoroughly then...."

Jack put his hand up, stopping what was sure to become a rant, nodded in agreement, and tossed the box aside. He covered Daniel's naked body with his own, wedging his legs between Daniel's, spreading his legs. Jack aligned their cocks, grasping Daniel's arms, and started to hump, feeling Daniel grow hard against him. He bit and sucked Daniel's neck, leaving an obvious purple bruise, and stopped moving, head moving back to admire his work. But it was the movements beneath him that got his attention. Daniel was now rubbing against him, increasing the friction, and it was sending Jack close to the edge. "Danny...Danny stop. I'm gonna cream."

"And your point is?" Daniel gasped out.

"My dick wants inside you, so badly it hurts."

"Then do it," Daniel moaned in his ear, nibbling on the lobe.

Jack shifted back, taking hold of the lube with one hand, turning Daniel onto his stomach. "Raise up, on your knees." Daniel's ass was now bared to Jack, who quickly squeezed lube on one hand, slowly annointing himself. He twisted his wrist on each upstroke, sending waves of pleasure through his body. Placing his dry hand on Daniel's hip, he held Daniel still, his other hand teasing Daniel's hole. He eased a finger in, gasping at the tightness, watching his treacherous body edge forward. He bit his lip so hard it bled, fighting the urge to plunge his cock deep inside Daniel. Instead he slipped a second finger in, quickly followed by a third, in and out, deeper each time, finally hitting Daniel's sweet spot.

"JAAACKKK!"

Jack couldn't hold on anymore. His cock was so hard it was painful, and needed release...inside Daniel. He hit Daniel's prostate a few more times, then pulled his fingers back. "Easy Danny. Relax for me." Jack's dick was self guiding, finding its own way to Daniel. He leaned down, whispering, "Love you Danny, love you so much." Placing his hands on Daniel's ass, he spread him slowly, resting his cock against the hole. "Oh fuck, you're beautiful." He slid in, Daniel opening to him, his tight ass swallowing Jack's cock. Jack quickly found himself buried to the hilt, balls resting against Daniel's warm skin. He stilled, eyes taking in the view, rotating his hips, driving himself deeper. Resting himself over Daniel's back, he licked Daniel's neck, grinning at the hickey. 'Can't wait to see you explain that one.'

"Jack...if you don't do something...." Daniel reacted on basic instinct, and squeezed his ass muscles.

Jack groaned, and nearly came. He moved out about halfway, grabbed Daniel's hips tightly, and thrust back in, holding Daniel still, filling him deeply again, then stopping, grinding his hips. He wrapped his arms around Daniel's waist, slowly moving upwards, holding on to Daniel.

As Daniel was pulled upwards, Jack suddenly thrust in deep, Daniel feeling a spasm of pain. He pulled forward, trying to get up, but Jack's arm around his waist held him still. "Hurts, Jack."

"Shhh. It's okay Danny. I'm sorry." He stroked Daniel's cock, realization dawning. "You're a virgin." The cock in his hand softened. "Daniel?"

"Wish I wasn't," Daniel's head dropped.

Jack groaned. Now Daniel was getting all mopey, the dick in his hand was soft, and the dick buried within Daniel was starting to grow soft as well. 'Oh no!' Jack thought. 'Not this time Dannyboy. I'm not going to give you another second to psychoanalyze this.' Still holding Daniel around the waist, Jack began to undulate his hips. "It's me, and you, in a tent, on a moonlit night, a trillion miles from home." He pushed Daniel forward a bit, kissing his neck. "You're in my lap, my ten inch dick in your hot little ass." Jack felt the cock in his hand begin to swell. "So the sweet, naive archaeologist cum linguist gets off on dirty talk, does he?"

"Jack...." Daniel reached an arm back, around Jack's neck. He used the leverage to tilt his head back, stealing a kiss.

Jack took control of the kiss, taking it from light and chaste, to tonsil-sucking. They came up for air, and Jack pulled back, nipping Daniel's lip. "Mine." Something about that position drove Jack wild. He pulled Daniel up, until only the tip of his cock remained, and shoved Daniel down, biting Daniel's shoulder at the same time. "DannyDannyDanny...."

Daniel was pulled up and slammed down again. He opened his mouth to scream, moan, sigh, but Jack moved him up and down again, and he lost his voice.

Jack, however, was quite erudite. "MineMineMine...so fucking tight...oh yeah...come for me Danny...." He jerked Daniel harder. "For me Danny...let it go for me...Danny *please*...." Daniel fell back against Jack's shoulder, Jack sucking on his neck. "C'mon baby...can't come until you do...." Jack shoved deeper. "Ahh...yeah...Danny...Danny...DANIEL!!!" Jack didn't have to see to know that Daniel was coming...he felt it on his hand. "OH FUCK YESSSSSS!!!" He let his own release come then, emptying himself within Daniel.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Funny," Sam said, shaking her head. "I never thought of the Colonel as a screamer."

Teal'c nodded. "I must concur, MajorCarter."

"Then again," Sam chuckled, "I never figured you as the begging type either."

Teal'c turned what could best be described as a deep shade of crimson.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Daniel just lay there, flat on his back, panting for breath. "Jack?"

"Yeah babe?" came the gasped reply.

"That was intense."

"Ah Danny, if you think that was intense, wait'll you get me into a bed, when I have something soft beneath my knees. Then I'll show you intense."

"Ya think?" Daniel laughed.

Jack pulled Daniel atop him, arms cocooning his new lover. "I think that I love you. I think that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I think that you..." Jack grunted as Daniel shifted. "...need to lose a few pounds."

"You're such a romantic Jack," Daniel snickered. "I think that's why I fell in love with you."

Jack pushed Daniel back slightly, so he could see Daniel's face. "No shit Daniel? You love me?"

"Jack, I let you in on my superhero underwear fetish. Would I do that if I didn't love you?"

"Superheroes, huh? Who else adorns your underwear, Doctor Jackson?" He paused. "And I didn't know they made that sort of underwear for grown-ups."

"I buy 'em from the same place I got you those NHL sheets."

"Ya think they got the Fantastic Four?"

"If not, I'll have them 'specially made just for you." Daniel tried to roll to his side, but Jack held him tighter.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jack asked, heart racing in fear. 'I pushed too fast. He's not ready for this. I should have just cuddled with him.' He kissed Daniel softly. "I'm sorry."

Now Daniel was confused. "Jack, you're sorry that we...."

"No, no Danny."

"Then what?"

"Why do you want me to stop holding you?"

"I don't want you to stop holding me Jack. I'm just not that comfortable using a Jack-mattress."

"Oh," Jack said, with a nervous chuckle. "Yeah. Sure. You Betcha." He released his hold on Daniel, and Daniel turned over, his back to Jack. "Uh, Danny...."

Daniel reached back, pulling Jack's right arm around his chest, snuggling back. "There, now I can sleep." He brought Jack's palm to his lips, kissing it. "Love you, my Colonel."

Jack wrapped his right arm tighter around Daniel, his left arm stretching up to stroke Daniel's hair. "Love you too, my Danny." Jack brought his leg over Daniel's two, effectively trapping him, moving his hand to pull the cover over them, quickly returning it to hold on to Daniel. "Comfy?"

"Mmm, yeah," Daniel murmured.

"Then go to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Morning Of The Third Day....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Good morning sir," Sam said cheerfully, seeing Jack come out of his tent. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Enough. Teal'c is still sleeping."

"Kept him busy last night Carter? What if we were attacked by hostiles?"

"Teal'c said that part of his Jaffa training was one month, naked, on a hostile planet, with only a staff weapon for company. I...guess I felt safe...sir."

"Oh," Jack smiled. "Well, if that's the case, I guess I can overlook it in my report."

"Um, you don't write your reports, sir. Daniel does. You haven't written one in, oh, three years or so." She smirked, handing him a cup of coffee.

"Ya know, being a smartass to your superior officer, is an offense punishable by giving Molly her bath when we get back." He took a sip of the coffee, nodding in approval. "Good coffee."

"Daniel taught me how to make it." She grinned. "And *this* particular morning, is the *only* morning, I shall *ever* serve you coffee."

"By the way, you were right...Sam." Jack's voice was so low, Sam had to lean in to hear him. "All I had to do was tell him, and all would be right with my life." He smiled. "You said that six years ago. I guess I'm a little slow on the uptake."

"Better late then never, Jack...sir." She winked at him, pouring another cup. "If you want to stay on his good side, bring him this."

Jack took the mug, and headed back to his tent. He knelt there, taking in the sight of his newfound love. He took another sip of his coffee, and put both mugs down. Slowly pulling the cover down Daniel's body, he sighed at the vision before him. Reaching out, fingertips caressing Daniel's flaccid cock, he watched as his lover's dick came to life. With slow, even strokes, he looked in amazement as Daniel's cock 'woke up'. Jack had never taken the time to watch before. All of his other relationships with men had been fleeting, a string of one night stands. He found himself lost in the sight of it, Daniel's cock swelling under his touch.

Daniel, for his part, was lost in a sensual haze, brought on by that state between sleeping and waking. He felt the fingers caressing him, and instinctively spread his legs, arching his hips into the hand touching him.

Jack pulled his hand back, shifting between Daniel's legs. "Ah Danny, do you taste as sweet as you look?" Jack placed his palms on either side of Daniel's legs. "Let's find out...let *me* find out." Jack leaned down, opened his mouth, and swallowed Daniel's cock to the root.

Daniel came awake, body arching up. Jack was prepared for the movement, and shifted back, so he wouldn't choke. "Jack...." Daniel mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah, baby, it's Jack." Jack's fingers caressed along Daniel's inner thighs. "Relax. Lay back and enjoy. You deserve it, lovermine." He swallowed Daniel's cock again, sucking hard, feeling the tip at the back of his throat, head moving up, lapping at the slit, tasting the first drops of precome. He moaned, taking the cock to the root again, working it rough, using his tongue, teeth, and lips to bring Daniel to new heights of arousal. Jack moved his head up, suckling on the head, shoving two fingers deep within Daniel as he swallowed again. "MMMM...." Jack moaned, sucking harder, deeper, finger-fucking him faster. As Jack moved his head up again, he shoved a third finger in, grazing his teeth along the length. Nibbling on the head, he wrapped his free hand around Daniel's cock, gripping tight, pumping slow. "You wanna come for me, don't you Danny?" He laved the tip, precome seeping, fingers deep, searching for that sweet spot....

"OH GOD JACK!!" Daniel bucked up, spilling his seed in Jack's mouth, Jack swallowing what he could.

Jack lifted his head, licking his lips, leering at Daniel. "Ya like that baby?" He swooped down, mouth covering Daniel's, tongue halfway down Daniel's throat. He came up for air, a stupid grin on his face. "I brought you coffee, but it's probably cold by now."

"My coffee is cold?" Daniel looked hurt. "Instead of coffee, you gave me a blow job?" He paused, seeing the confused look on Jack's face. "You made the right choice Jack."

"Yeah? Cool. Glad you liked it." Jack raised himself to his knees, poured some water on a cloth, wiped his face, rinsed it, and reached for Daniel.

"I can do that, Jack. You be a good boy, and get me a fresh cup of coffee."

"Okey-Dokey," Jack grinned, doing as he was told.

Jack picked up both mugs, and went back to the fire. He ignored the raised eyebrow from Teal'c, another smirk from Sam, ('Damn, she's getting good at that look,' he thought), poured Daniel a fresh cup, and went back into his tent, his mouth dropping open. "Aww, Daniel, why'd you get dressed? And how'd ya do it so quickly? And without coffee?"

"Because if I didn't," Daniel said, pulling his tee-shirt shirt over his head, "we'd never get out of here." He took the mug from Jack's hands, taking a gulp.

"So we'll be a little late to meet the natives. it's not like we're on a schedule here." Jack leaned in to kiss Daniel's neck, but Daniel shifted, grabbing his jacket, and Jack kissed the sleeping bag. He sat up, nodding in defeat. "C'mon, let's get it packed up, get on our way, meet and greet the natives, and then go home. To my house. To my king-sized bed. Where I can blow you to my little heart's content."

Daniel had picked up one sleeping bag to fold it, but froze at Jack's words. "Blow me?"

"Danny, I love to give head."

"You do?" Daniel asked, voice cracking.

Jack nodded. "And I've been told I do it quite well."

"Yeah," Daniel's voice went up an octave, "you do."

"And believe me, when I tell you, you have the prettiest dick I have ever seen."

"You don't strike me as a...I believe the term is 'bottom'."

"I'm not, never have been," Jack said firmly. "Giving head and being a bottom boy are two different things in my book."

"You've never bottomed?" Daniel asked, very curious.

"Not even in Iraq. I got out of it by sucking cock. As far as bottoming, I've never trusted anyone to do that to me. I don't know if I could ever give up that control."

"Well, my Colonel," Daniel leaned in, whispering in Jack's ear, "that's okay. After last night, I can tell you I will be *very* happy being your 'bottom-boy'." He blew in Jack's ear. "I love you Flyboy."

"Love you too Spacemonkey."

They smiled at each other, and packed their things up, joining Teal'c and Sam a few moments later.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ya know, I vote we take Harley's on the next two day mission," Jack sighed, as they finally approached the village.

"I would like a city bus," Teal'c said, mouth twitching.

"You guys let him watch 'Speed' didn't you?" Jack asked. When he got no answer, he chuckled. "From now on, Uncle Jack is going to monitor what the Jaffa watches. And guys, we're going to go out to a nice bar after this mission, get shit-faced, and have a long chat about your various mental states." He glanced at Sam. "Chakotay and Paris? You are in need of some serious help."

"You would have shot Ethel," she grinned.

"Hey! I never claimed to be mentally balanced."

"I wouldn't touch that statement," Daniel laughed.

"Oh, and remember Danny, no eating strange foods, or drinking strange drinks."

"Yes *dad*," Daniel replied, with blatant sarcasm.

"Keep it up *Daniel*, and you're going to get a good old-fashioned spanking."

"Sweet." Daniel laughed, moving out of reach of Jack's hand. "You missed me."

As they got closer to the village, the hairs on the back of Jack's neck stood on end. "Where the Hell did everyone go?" Jack asked. "They were here. We saw them." He glanced at the other end of the village, seeing the second gate. "I vote we just go home." He looked at his watch. "If we leave now, I can still catch the playoffs."

"Maybe they're...invisible," Sam suggested flippantly, humming the theme from the Twilight Zone. She saw the writing on the wall, pointing it out, Daniel going over to decipher it. "What does it say Daniel?"

"Abandon hope, all ye who enter," Jack deadpanned.

Daniel threw him a glare.

"What is it, my hot and horny studmuffin?"

"Jack, I have work to do."

"Okay, babycakes. You decipher that stuff, and I will just stand here, admiring your ass."

"JACK!"

Jack licked his lips. "And a sweet ass it is, my little kumquat."

Daniel's cheeks flushed pink. "Jack, please...."

"What, you don't like me looking at your ass?"

"Jaaaccck."

"Because I don't *have* to look at *your* ass. I could look at Sam's ass."

"You called me Sam again sir."

"Oops, sorry. I could look at *Major Carter's* ass."

"Thank you sir."

"Anytime Major."

"I do not think I like the idea of you staring at SamanthaCarter's ass, O'Neill." Teal'c raised an eyebrow at him. "If you persist, I will stare at DanielJackson's ass."

"Go ahead," Jack said, grinning at him. "But if you attempt to touch it, I'll tell everyone that you enjoy watching the Purple Dino every morning."

Teal'c's eyes widened in fear. "You would not do this O'Neill!"

"'Course I would T. I still owe you for that business with the chocolate pudding. I'm still hearing whispers and chuckles about it."

"How about if I stare at your ass Colonel?" Sam grinned.

"I dunno," Jack shrugged. "Do you wanna look at my ass?"

"It's a nice enough ass," she shot back.

"Daniel thinks so," Jack chuckled. "And if you look at my ass, can I look at Teal'c's?"

"Do you think my ass is nice?" Teal'c asked, with a straight face.

"STOP IT!" Daniel shouted, his face getting redder by the moment.

"DanielJackson, you do not like anyone admiring your ass? If so, you should not be wearing such tight pants."

"I agree with Teal'c, my sweet Spacemonkey. Tight pants will always get stares."

Daniel buried his face in his hands.

Jack began to laugh. "Okay guys, enough of torturing Daniel. I know it's our collective hobby, and he does have a sweet ass, but still...." He got serious, nodding to Carter. "Major, you and Teal'c go have a look in those buildings over there. I'll go that way. If you find anything...."

"I'll scream like a little girl," Sam chuckled.

"That's what I like to hear," Jack said. He stood behind Daniel, grabbing his ass, and squeezing the cheeks. "This ass belongs to me, and don't forget it."

The three headed in their respective directions, leaving Daniel alone to the writings. The doctor heard a noise, and saw movement out of the corner of his eye. But when he looked, there was nothing there. This happened a few more times, and Daniel was getting spooked.

"Go away."

The voice was whispered into his ear, and Daniel jumped, whirling around, but seeing nothing. He almost yelled for Jack, but shook his head, knowing Jack would just blame his overactive imagination.

"Leave this place."

The voice whispered again, and Daniel froze. Definitely *not* his imagination. 'Okay,' he thought, 'you can deal with this. It's only disembodied voices.' Aloud, "Who are you?"

"Leave this place, or suffer the consequences."

Now one thing Daniel Jackson was not, was a coward. And he was not stupid either. But when disembodied voices, or invisible people, start threatening you, you need to call in the big guns...."JAAACCCKKK!!"

Jack was staring at an erotic portrait display of two women and a man, on the walls of one of the houses. He heard Daniel, but realized there was no panic in the voice. 'Oh goody,' he thought sarcastically, 'he found a hieroglyph.' He sighed at leaving the artwork, and walked out, catching sight of Daniel. Daniel was talking, but there was nobody there. He glanced at Teal'c and Sam, who were coming from the opposite direction, getting a shrug from both of them. As they approached, they heard Daniel's words....

"Look, we're travelers, not Gods, we're here to explore, exchange ideas, learn from one another."

"Danny," Jack grinned, "if you wanted to practice your 'meet the aliens' speech, all you needed to do was ask. We would have listened."

"Jack, the people are here." Daniel chuckled as he faced Sam. "You were right. They are invisible."

"What?" Her face lit up. "Oh my God. That's amazing. They're here? Right now?"

Daniel nodded. "They spoke to me. They don't like visitors much, and...."

Jack felt a hand on his arm, and turned, P90 ready to fire.

"Did you like the paintings?" a female voice asked.

"What paintings?" Daniel asked.

"Uh, I um, went into that house, and there was some art on the walls. It was...interesting." Jack gave him a small smile.

"You seemed to be engrossed by them," she said. "You got a bit excited."

Jack jumped back as he felt a palm on his crotch. "Don't do that!" He shoved the air in front of him. As the team watched, a woman came into sight, falling on her ass, knocked there by Jack.

"That hurt," she grimaced. "Are all your people so violent?"

"Hey, I'm sorry, okay?" Jack put out his hand, helping her to her feet. "I just didn't expect...that." He smiled at her, getting a smile in return. "Do you have a name?"

"Melora."

"Melora," Jack repeated, taking in her good looks. The only words that came to mind were 'buxom blonde'. And she was one of the women in the paintings.

Daniel's eyes quickly moved to his feet, a little angry, and a bit hurt, that Jack was looking at her like *that*.

Jack, however, was watching Daniel out of the corner of his eye. 'Aww,' he thought, 'the kid is jealous.' The moment Daniel lowered his eyes, Jack felt like he'd been punched in the gut. 'From jealous to heartbroken in thirty seconds. Damn, Daniel, how many times have you been hurt?' He opened his mouth to say something, stake his claim on what he realized was *his* archaeologist, when his arm was grabbed by the woman, and he was pulled away. As he was led toward the house he had been in, Jack turned back, watching as other people appeared, all smiling. One of the men appeared to be explaining something to his team, and Jack saw smiles appearing on Sam and Daniel's faces, as well as Teal'c's mouth twitching...a Jaffa smile.

"What is he telling them?" Jack asked. "Dirty jokes?"

"That we know of you from Thor."

"Thor?"

"This is an Asgard protected planet. Very few are permitted through the Chapp'ai. If you arrived here, then you are allied with the Asgard." She paused. "The young one, when we first spoke to him, he said your name was 'Colonel Jack O'Neill'. Are you the same 'O'Neill' that the Asgard named a ship after?"

"Uh, yeah. But it got blown up."

"I know. But you saved the Asgard, and many other planets as well." She paused at the door to her house, and Jack nodded to her. Going inside, Melora opened a few more windows, and Jack saw more artwork...more erotic then the others.

"You, uh, lead an interesting life," Jack said, gawking without thinking.

"Would you like a closer look?" Melora whispered into Jack's ear.

Jack spun around, mouth dropping open. Melora stood before him...in all her glory. Jack reacted on instinct, eyes moving up and down, stopping at her breasts. He sighed, head moving up to meet her eyes. "Weird. They're not doing anything for me."

Melora moved closer, tilting her head to look at him. "Maybe this will do it for you."

Her lips were on his before he knew it, and Jack reacted, shoving her away, their lips parting. He stumbled back, tripping over a footstool, Melora landing on top of him....

And that's when Daniel walked in...with Teal'c and Sam behind him.

"Jack?" It took only a second for Daniel to see what was going on, and two seconds more for him to turn and start to bolt.

"DANIEL, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Jack yelled, tossing Melora aside, jumping to his feet, and reaching Daniel before Daniel had a chance to leave. "I didn't...it isn't what it looks like."

Daniel faced Jack, looking into his eyes. "You have thirty seconds Jack."

People had begun to gather in the doorway.

Jack took a deep breath. "I...."

"Twenty-five seconds Jack."

Jack nodded. "She stripped, kissed me, I shoved her away, and tripped. She fell on top of me, and that's when you walked in."

"Sounds pretty lame, Jack," Daniel raised an eyebrow at him.

"Daniel, sweetheart, do you think I could tell you I loved you last night, and kiss her today?"

"He would not do this DanielJackson," Teal'c said, nodding to Jack. "He speaks the truth."

"I have to agree with Teal'c, Daniel," Sam added. "If anything, the Colonel is a man of honor." She also nodded to Jack, and got a nod back.

Jack turned to Daniel. "See. I've never lied to ya Danny, and I'm not going to start now."

"Jack, I never said I didn't believe you. You just assumed I wouldn't." Daniel smiled. "You, of all people, should know not to assume anything about me." He leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on Jack's lips. "And I know you've never lied to me."

"Wait a moment," Melora said. "Jack, you and Daniel are...lovers?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Look, I'm sorry if you thought I...Hey! Where'd ya go?!" The team headed outside, watching the other people disappearing as well. As they neared the edge of the village, the gate began dialing itself.

"Uh, Daniel, do gates usually do that?" Jack asked, as he and Sam looked around, weapons ready for a fight.

"Sure Jack," Daniel replied, with a nervous chuckle. "Haven't you ever heard of automatic dialing?" He watched the symbols light up. "It's dialing Earth."

The seventh symbol lit up, the gate opened, Sam dialed their GDO code, but the four just stood there, still looking around.

Teal'c felt himself being lifted, eyes widening as he was bodily tossed through the gate. Sam was next, yelling things that made even Jack blush, as she sailed into the event horizon. Jack followed, shouting "OH SHIIIIITTTT!" as he passed through.

Daniel waited for his turn, but nothing happened. He heard noise behind him, and saw the people appear. "We won't bother you again." Melora approached him, and he smiled.

Melora did *not* smile back. "What you and Jack O'Neill do is unnatural, and will not be tolerated here."

Daniel nodded in understanding, and stepped through the gate, finding himself, a moment later, standing in the embarkation room, his teammates sprawled beside him.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"We went to the planet of the Moral Majority," Daniel deadpanned.

"Jerry Falwell's homeworld?" Teal'c asked, stifling a smirk.

"And we still don't know why they have two gates," Sam said.

"Great," Jack muttered. "How do I explain this one?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The team cleared their medical exams, with Janet advising both Jack and Daniel that 'doctor/patient privilege' superceded 'don't ask, don't tell', and winked at them. She also suggested a discreet resort, that her brother, the Congressman, had gone to on his vacation.

Then came the debriefing. The first half hour consisted of their travel time, the terrain, sun rotation, etc. Then General Hammond asked about the natives, and why SG1 had been tossed back through the Gate.

This was the moment that Jack had been dreading. 'Ah well,' he thought, smiling at Daniel, 'I retired once, I can do it again. I love Daniel, Daniel loves me...." He opened his mouth, when light filled the room, and the figure of Thor appeared.

"General Hammond," Thor began, "suffice it to say, that your team behaved admirably among the Amparitte."

"The Amparitte?" Daniel asked.

"The people with whom you have just met," Thor continued. "They are not in full understanding of many aspects of the universe, that some, such as Colonel O'Neill and Doctor Jackson, are aware of."

"You were watching?" Jack asked, eyes widening.

"Everything?" Daniel asked, voice cracking, taking a gulp of water.

"Not *everything* Daniel," Thor said. "Just what we needed to see. You will not go back to that planet."

"We understand Thor," General Hammond nodded.

"Yeah, thanks Thor," Jack said, chuckling.

"The Asgard wish you to know, O'Neill, that most races are not as...uninformed." Thor vanished.

Jack and Daniel both let out a breath they had been holding, and the General just ordered Sam to remove the address from the dialing computer. He nearly asked what Thor had been talking about, but decided against it. Knowing his flagship team, he *really* didn't want to know.

The team got up, heading for their respective showers, but Jack was stopped by General Hammond.

"Colonel...Jack. I consider myself an open-minded man. I know that things can get lonely, but do you realize I have to justify each and every penny to those imbeciles at the Pentagon?"

"The video store."

"Yes. It was hard enough to get them to approve Doctor Jackson's request for that massive Lego set, even after I explained that he needed it for one of his projects. Although we both know he just wanted to build that space station." He paused. "Major Carter's request for an evening gown was also difficult, even when we told them it was for a celebration on P2X-whatever. Although she didn't have to pick the Calvin Klein original at three thousand, four hundred, and twelve dollars...plus shoes and evening bag. And a tuxedo for Teal'c at twelve hundred dollars. Why she couldn't rent him one is beyond me."

"They did look good that night, sir," Jack smiled, knowing full well he was in deep shit right now.

"Now Jack," Hammond smiled like a cobra, "can you tell me, please, how in the HELL I am *supposed* to explain why *my* 2IC used a *Military Issue* Visa at 'Madam Mahalia's Sex Emporium'?" He slammed the bill in front of Jack. "TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN DOLLARS!"

Jack looked down. "And nineteen cents sir," he added, trying to lighten the mood. 'And how many fucking videos did Teal'c rent?' Jack thought to himself.

"How would you like to be a Lieutenant again?"

Jack stared at his feet like a six year old, before raising his eyes. "Um, it was Teal'c sir."

Hammond raised an eyebrow at him. "Teal'c?"

"Yes sir. He wanted to know what those kind of movies were all about. I'm going to have a talk with him and...."

The General shook his head. "Jack, don't go blaming Teal'c for this. I'll find some reason for those assholes to approve it. And for the future, try paying cash."

"But...."

"Go to a nudie bar, like normal men."

"Sir...."

"Dismissed."

"But sir, Teal'c...."

Hammond cut him off. "I said *dismissed*." He watched as Jack saluted, turned on his heels, and left. "That boy needs to get out more often."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack walked into the locker room, as Teal'c and Daniel were exiting the showers.

"You got me into trouble," Jack growled at Teal'c. "The General just told me to go to a nudie bar."

"A nudie bar, Jack?" Daniel asked.

"For some reason, he didn't believe me when I said Teal'c rented a porno flick. He thinks it was me."

"Well," Daniel grinned, "two more rentals and you get the toy of your choice."

"Keep it up Daniel, and I'm going to get a whip. Just for you."

"Oooh baby, I just love it when you talk dirty."

"You would whip DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked, eyebrow raising. "I believed the two of you were friends."

"It was a joke Teal'c."

"Ahh. Potty humor."

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Potty humor. And just what did you get for two hundred and thirty-seven dollars and nineteen cents anyway?" He turned to Daniel. "And just how did *you* let him leave the mall with so much stuff?"

"I didn't ask what it was, or how he paid for it all," Daniel said innocently, cheeks pink. "I didn't even know a store like that existed in the mall."

"O'Neill, while I was in the store, I spotted something called 'flavored lube', and purchased some for both Samantha and Drey'auc. I also purchased some...nightwear, for them, and a vibrator so that they could...."

"TEAL'C!" Jack put his hand up, halting the Jaffa. "You don't have to be so...graphic."

"You asked," Teal'c intoned, quite solemnly, mouth twitching.

"Ya know, we gotta work on this thing you Jaffa call a 'sense of humor'."

"Wait'll tomorrow Jack," Daniel chuckled.

"Tomorrow?" Jack asked, confused.

"Teal'c's going with Sam, Lou, and SG8, to see 'Rocky Horror'."

Jack nearly choked, and Teal'c nodded. "LouisFeretti claims it is the 'ultimate midnight movie', and it is about time I...experienced...it."

"Oh yeah Teal'c." Jack smiled at him. "I think you'll enjoy it. Wait'll you see Sam do the 'Time Warp'."

"I do not understand O'Neill."

"Go have fun big guy. I think you'll enjoy the experience." Jack patted Teal'c's tummy. "You too Junior."

Teal'c left, and Jack leered at Daniel. "Wanna go rent a movie?"

"Two Jack. Then we can pick out a toy."

"Lemme take my shower, and I'll think about it."

Fifteen minutes later, Jack had finished tying his shoes, and he stared at his feet, somewhat afraid to meet Daniel's eyes. "Ya don't have to do this Daniel. I won't hate you or anything if you're not ready."

"How about," Daniel sat beside Jack, lips brushing Jack's ear, "you call me Danny when we're off duty?" He kissed down to Jack's neck. "Or Spacemonkey." Daniel sucked on one spot. "Or your own personal fucktoy." Daniel sucked harder, and Jack pushed him away abruptly, Daniel's eyes widening. "I'm sorry Jack. I didn't mean...."

Jack shook his head. "Daniel...Danny, no. I didn't mean that. It's just, it's one thing if you have a..." Jack smiled. "...a hickey, another if I do. I'm 2IC here."

Daniel nodded. "I understand," he said quietly.

"How about later on, I let you mark me."

Daniel tilted his head. "You'd let *me* mark *you*?"

"I can think of some interesting places Danny. And I bet you've got a better imagination than I do too." Jack narrowed his eyes. "Then again, probably not."

"Will you talk dirty to me again?" Daniel asked hesitantly.

"If I can ream you."

Daniel opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it. "Ream, Jack?"

"Yeah, reaming." Jack leaned into Daniel's ear, tongue snaking in, followed by warm breath. "The art of sticking one's tongue into a lover's anal orifice, or in your case, sexy ass, and kissing...licking...eating." Jack's hand slid between Daniel's legs. "Of course, reaming is usually followed by a few rounds of fucking. *That* is the art of shoving one's hard dick inside one's lover." He felt the hardness between those legs, and began to rub.

"Jack, what are you doing?"

"Anything I want." Jack pulled Daniel to his feet, pushed him against the wall, grabbing Daniel's cock through his pants. He heard the soft moan, realizing it was coming from himself. He kissed his way down Daniel's neck, lips moving down Daniel's clothed body. Dropping to his knees, Jack cast a glance up at Daniel, before moving forward to chew on Daniel's cock...through his pants. "I wanna blow you...*now*."

Daniel's head fell back, eyes closing, moving his hips toward Jack's mouth, dizzy from the feeling. He had to brace his hands on Jack's shoulders to hold his balance. "Jack, anybody can come in."

"SG1 have their own personal showers, remember?"

"But what if the cleaning...."

Jack pulled back, getting to his feet. "Maybe you're right Danny. We shouldn't be doing this on base."

"Jack?" Daniel was confused. He was standing in the middle of the locker room, with a painful hard-on, a wet crotch, and his lover was backing away.

"Military Protocol. No fucking in the locker room."

"Jack?" Daniel couldn't believe that Jack would leave him like this.

"I'll meet you at my place."

"Jack." Daniel's voice was firm, and deadly.

"I'm gonna pick up some whipped cream on my way home."

Daniel opend his mouth, but no words came out.

"Maybe chocolate syrup too."

"Jack." A whimper.

"How about peanut butter?"

"Jack." A squeak.

"Amazing," Jack grinned, "to hear all the different ways you can say my name. Personally, I like it best when you moan it." Jack opened the door, turned back to Daniel, blew him a kiss, and left the locker room.

"He's gonna drive me to drink," Daniel muttered, following Jack out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Epilogue

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Janet held out the syringe. "Take 'em down and bend over Jack. This won't hurt a bit."

"Two things," Jack said, backing up. "One, that's what you always say, and two, I thought we had a deal. I saved Cassie's life, you agreed to give me shots *only* in the arm."

"*Colonel*, I always keep my word. But this has to go...down there. Would you like me to give you a two hour explanation as to why?"

Jack pondered his choices. A two hour lecture from Janet, and a shot in the ass anyway, or get the shot over with. He shrugged, and turned to her. "I'll take 'em down." He bent over, and heard her gasp.

"Colonel," Janet's voice was almost whispered, "you have a bite on your ass!"

"You noticed," he said, fighting a chuckle.

"But what...did this happen on the mission?"

"Oh yeah."

"It may be infected. Do you know what bit you?"

"Yep."

"Okay Jack, you have to tell me. As your doctor...."

"It was the Jackson Creature."

"What?"

"The Jackson Creature. A little taller then six feet, light brown hair, beautiful blue eyes...and a tendency to bite when he gets horny."

"Daniel did this?!"

"Uh-huh," Jack said matter-of-factly. "And wait'll you see where he got a mark."

"You did the same to Daniel?" Janet asked.

"Yep," Jack nodded smugly. "And...OWWW!! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"

Janet narrowed her eyes. "YeahSureYoubetcha."

"I'm gonna get you for this Fraiser." Jack pulled his pants up. "You won't know when, or how." He narrowed his eyes. "Be afraid, be very afraid."

Janet met his glare with one of her own. "I control how often you get a rectal exam."

"Hey, you're good." Jack grinned at her, and stood to leave. "Ops could have used you."

"Thanks, I think." Janet watched him leave, and watched Daniel come in, seeing Jack whisper to him, the two men sharing a leer as they passed each other. "All right. I found his. Now where is yours?"

Daniel opened his shirt, and Janet gaped at the mark. It was just below his neck, at a *perfect* position, hidden just below Daniel's shirt collar. "Daniel, I may be crazy, but I could swear that that was a...."

"....heart," Daniel finished for her. "Yeah, I noticed too. Jack won't tell me how he did it. I don't even think he knows."

She held out a syringe. "Drop 'em."

Daniel winced as he felt the pinprick. Pulling up his pants, he turned to her, smiling. "Don't ask, don't tell?" He headed out the door, passing Sam.

"Okay Sam, drop 'em."

Daniel turned back. "Didn't she already get her shot?"

"DanielJackson," Teal'c entered the room, "are you not familiar with the phrase 'don't ask, don't tell'?"

Daniel looked at the three, who were suddenly oblivious to him, eyes on each other. He slowly backed away. "YeahSureYouBetcha...."

FIN

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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