Disclaimer: Boys will be boys...they play rough, have fun, and they belong to themselves. My Jack and Daniel are so far from TPTB, that any resemblance is totally, and completely, nonexistent.
Snakes And Stakes - An SG/Angel X-Over
By The Huntress
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
An Angel character guide:
Angel (Angelus):
Birth name: Liam, 200 yr old vampire; Cursed by gypsies and given a soul so he would remembre all the pain, suffering, and deaths he caused as a vampire; also cursed that if he ever found true happiness and love he would revert to his evil self. Fights the good fight now against other vamps; Angelus is his evil self
Cordelia Chase:
approx 22 yrs old; met Angel when she was a student with Buffy and was the snotty leader of the 'cool girls' in HS; wants to be an actress but assists in battling the vamps demons, etc that prowl LA; sort of bubble-brained; ascended to a higher level of existence but has since returned
Wesley Wyndham-Price:
approx age 40 (?); Stiff upper lipped Brit who was a watcher, those that train slayers (like Buffy); has gotten down and dirty in helping Angel fight the evil; does translations and has vast knowledge of the evils that plague us
Charles Gunn:
approx age 25; streetwise; led a group of people that hunted down vamps on the streets; lost his sister to a vampire and had to stake her
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle:
approx age 25; science nerd; spent a few years in a Hell dimension called Pylea; very knowledgeable in the sciences
Connor:
The child of Angel and a vamp named Darla who used to hunt with Angel; looks about 16, but is actually 2; was kidnapped by one of Angel's longtime enemies and taken to a hell dimension and due to a time distortion, when he returned to our world was a teenager; it was a horrible place and he spent all his years learning to fight and developing a hatred of his father
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Note on the Angel subplot: I played with Angel's plotline a bit. Cordelia is out of her coma, and she and Connor are still around. I have also taken the liberty of incorporating vampire lore from sources other then Angel.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Prologue
The full moon was shining bright and Lazaro was hungry. He saw the woman walking alone, turning into an alley and knew his chance had come. He approached her, smiled, and she smiled back.
He bared his fangs, her eyes glowed.
One scream was heard from the alley.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 1 - Colorado
The team is briefed on an assignment
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hey Jack, did you see this?" Daniel came into the briefing room with a newspaper. "'Entire town disappears in Southern California'. The entire place fell into a huge sinkhole."
"And this means what exactly?" Jack asked, wondering why it mattered.
"You think that's bad?" Sam joined them. "There were mass killings in LA."
"Is this not a common occurence in Los Angeles?" Teal'c asked.
"Not like this," Sam told him. "People with their throats torn out, blood drained. For almost a month the place was wilder then usual. They're chalking it up to some kind of plague."
Jack picked up Sam's paper. "Jesus. This seems to have affected everyone. Men, women, even children."
"Maybe the rumors I heard were true," Daniel muttered.
"What rumors?" Jack asked.
"You think so Daniel?" Sam scrunched up her face. "Oooh if they are, I'm making stakes and going back to church."
"What rumors?" Jack asked again.
"After what we have all experienced," Teal'c added, "it may be a possibility. We should not discount it so quickly."
"I agree Teal'c," Daniel nodded.
"WHAT RUMORS?!" Jack screamed.
Daniel turned to him, a serious look on his face. "Vampires in Los Angeles."
"Vampires?" Jack raised an eyebrow at him. "You've been smoking that Chulak weed again, haven't you? Didn't we talk about that? You trashed my toaster with a hammer insisting Apophis was inside it." He grimaced. "Vampires in Los Angeles. Pffft!"
"Did I hear something about vampires?" General Hammond asked as he joined them.
"Yeah," Jack laughed. "Daniel thinks that Dracula is living in LA."
"Where did you hear that?" Hammond asked.
"After what happened with Sarah," Daniel replied, "Steven Raynor and I mended fences. He's living in LA these days. He went into a bar one night and he says it was full of vampires and demons. Jack, there was a Professor Margaret Walsh...."
Jack cut him off. "She's a pioneer in the treatment of mental illness," Jack said. At the looks he got, he shrugged. "MacKenzie had this psych magazine and I read it while I was waiting for my last evaluation."
"Must have been an old magazine," Daniel told him. "She was killed two years ago at UC Sunnydale." He paused, taking a breath. "She was also doing research into controlling demons and vampires."
"There ya go with the vampires again!" Jack snapped. "When was the last time *you* had a psych eval?"
Daniel ignored him, continuing. "She thought that if she could gain control over them, they could be used as some sort of super army." He narrowed his eyes at Jack. "These experiments were approved by the government."
"Your tax dollars at work," Jack cracked.
General Hammond sighed. Yes, another day in the nursery school. Sometimes he had the urge to smack them all upside the head. "I received a call this morning from Martin Lloyd."
Daniel perked up. "Did he like my episode idea?"
"What episode idea?" Hammond asked.
"Uh, nothing sir." Daniel shrunk back in his chair. "Nothing at all."
"There is a Goa'uld at the studio."
"Is he sure it's a snake?" Jack asked. "I mean, it *is* Hollywood."
"He's sure Colonel. He said the glowing eyes gave it away."
"Are we packing our bags sir?"
"Yes. You leave this afternoon."
"I can't wait to meet Raymond Gunne," Sam grinned. "He is the coolest scientist on TV."
"He's the *only* scientist on TV," Jack rolled his eyes, then turned back to Hammond. "What's our cover? Same as last time?"
"Yes. You and Major Carter are military consultants, Doctor Jackson is a scientific consultant and Teal'c...."
"He's not gonna be serving food again, is he General?" Jack asked, turning a slight shade of green. "You should have seen what he served the last time."
"He will be working as Martin's assistant."
"Yes sir," Jack nodded. "Good idea sir. I need to go home, get packed and make arrangements for Molly."
"You'll be flying a commercial airline and the flight leaves at three."
"Do we get first-class this time General?" Jack asked.
"Yes Colonel. I don't feel like listening to you bitch and moan about your lack of leg room. Dismissed."
They all got up to leave.
"I don't bitch and moan," Jack pouted.
"Yes you do sir," Sam nodded.
"Oh yeah," Daniel agreed.
Jack turned to Teal'c.
"I do not believe you bitch and moan, O'Neill." Jack opened his mouth to say something, but Teal'c continued. "You do however have a tendency to complain."
"Do not."
"You do O'Neill."
"Uh-uh," Jack insisted.
"Yes you do Jack," Daniel said softly. "Now let's go so we have a little time to get things together."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jack got Molly settled with Cassie and returned home to get packed up.
"Why are you taking a suit Danny?"
"I thought I'd look like a consultant."
"You're not taking *that* suit."
"Why not Jack?"
"Because."
'Because why?"
"Well," Jack flushed pink, "because everybody will be staring at you."
Daniel's face fell. "You told me I looked good in this suit."
"You do. Real good." Jack chewed on his lower lip. "That's why I don't want you wearing it."
"I lost you."
"Danny, every time you wear that suit, people stare. Men, women, *everybody*. They look at you as if you were a piece of meat. I don't like it, don't like it at all."
"How about if I let you take it off me at night?"
"Stop that. We have to leave in an hour." Jack returned to his suitcase.
"A whole hour," Daniel whispered in his ear, hand moving down the front of Jack's pants, undoing the button, lowering the zipper. "We can do alot in an hour." His hand slid inside, feeling Jack growing hard, his other hand pulling Jack's pants down. "Bend over."
Jack looked over his shoulder. "No time."
Daniel undid his own pants, freeing himself, dick resting on Jack's bare ass. He nibbled on Jack's neck. "You don't want me inside you?"
"Daniel stop," Jack moaned softly. "No...."
Daniel already had the lube open, squeezng some onto his hand, teasing Jack's hole with a finger, blowing in his ear. "Are you sure?" He eased the finger inside, pulling it out and entering with two. "Absolutely sure?" He slid the fingers in and out slowly, watching Jack bend over.
"Danny...."
"Hush, lover." Daniel scissored his fingers, pulling them out, anointing his dick. He pressed in with three fingers, opening Jack further, before pulling them out, hearing Jack whimper. "That's it...that's my Jack." He spread Jack's cheeks, his hardened dick sliding in, watching it disappear into Jack's warmth. "Ahhh, yes, so nice."
Jack shoved back hard, squeezing his muscles tight, drawing Daniel all the way in. "Make it good."
"Don't I always?" Daniel pulled out, resting the tip at the hole, ramming back in without warning. "You like when I use you Jack?"
"Ahh...use me...abuse me...I don't fucking *care*!"
Daniel grasped Jack's hips, starting a wild rhythm, pounding harder, hand wrapping around Jack's dick. "I'm not going to last Jack...OH GOD!" He came without warning, feeling the come over his hand as Jack came. It took a couple of minutes for him to catch his breath. "Damn, that was too quick." He eased out slowly. "I'm sorry."
Jack stood, turning around, holding his lover close. "Never be sorry for anything." A soft kiss. "You screwed me thoroughly four hours ago." He grinned. "And I love it when you get aggressive." Another kiss. "And I love *you*."
"You're such a mushball Jack."
"Yep, and no one knows that but you. Now, let's clean up, get packed and get to the airport." A smirk. "Danny, how would you like to become a member of the mile-high club?"
Daniel looked confused as he followed Jack into the bathroom. "The what?"
"*You've* never heard of the Mile High Club? Mister 'I have three PhD's and speak twenty-seven languages'?"
"Well, I've *heard* of it. Does it have something to do with frequent-flier miles?"
"You really need to get out more," Jack chuckled. "I'll tell you when we get on the plane."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Teal'c came off the plane with a flight attendant's phone number, Sam immersed in the latest Stacy Monroe fanzine, Daniel with a slightly crooked gait and Jack with a huge grin.
"Vanessa is a nice woman. I believe I shall take her to Jell-O wrestling when we return to Colorado Springs."
"We have to do a background check on her first, T," Jack nodded.
"I shall not reveal who I am. Do I not have the right to a love life as you do?"
"That wasn't nice Jack." Daniel was frowning at him. "Following me into the bathroom like that and...and...Jack, it was cramped in there."
"Yeah, but now you're a member of the mile-high club," Jack snickered.
"I hope they didn't lose our luggage," Sam pouted. "Remember the last time we flew commercial? My clothes ended up in Hawaii...and I was in Finland."
"If my items have gone to Hawaii," Teal'c intoned, "I shall follow them."
"That's where Vanessa is flying next, isn't it?" Jack asked.
Teal'c smirked. "Yes, it is."
Thankfully their luggage came off the belt safe and sound and Sam picked up the rental car. Then she and Jack argued over who was driving, as both knew the city. Daniel finally settled it by getting behind the wheel while they fought.
They were expected at the studio within an hour, so they checked into their hotel and immediately left to meet Martin.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 2 - Angel Investigations
Cordelia has good news
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I got the part!" Cordelia was jumping up and down. "I'm gonna be an alien!"
"Joy of joys," Wesley sighed, the British accent becoming thicker when he got sarcastic. "I suppose I'm going to have to watch that insipid show when your scenes air."
"I like Wormhole X-Treme," Gunn grinned. "It's a cool show. And I'd like to get my hands on Yolanda Reese. Now *that's* a babe and a half."
"I find it fascinating for the scientific angle," Fred added.
"The problem with you scientists is that they can't watch sci-fi for the enjoyment of it. Always gotta nitpick," Gunn snickered. "You, however, you like watching Nick Marlowes's ass."
"Do not!" she giggled. "And you have to admit, wormholes are reality. If anyone knows, we do."
"Yeah," Gunn agreed, "but a wormhole to other dimensions is one thing. Other planets are something else altogether."
"Wouldn't that be cool though?" Fred wondered aloud. "Other planets, alien beings...."
Gunn frowned at her. "I have enough with demon beings."
"Demon beings? Where?" Angel came in, looking around the room hopefully.
"Not here," Gunn sighed. "Ya know, since we got rid of Jasmine the Incubus, this town has been boring with a capital *B*." He glanced at Cordelia. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring her up."
"I think you mean Succubus and that's not quite correct," Wesley sighed.
"See what I mean about scientists and their nitpicking?"
"It's okay," Cordelia gave Gunn a soft smile. "It was a...lifetime ago."
"Complaints, complaints. Bitch, bitch, bitch," Wesley chuckled, smiling at Gunn.
"Guess what?" Cordelia grinned at Angel.
Angel's face lit up. "Wolfram and Hart are going out of business?"
"No silly," she replied. "I got a part on Wormhole X-Treme."
"Do I get to meet Raymond Gunne?" Angel asked, grinning back. "He's my favorite geek."
"I thought I was your favorite geek," Wesley pouted.
"Well," Angel quickly amended, "you're my favorite real life geek." He turned back to Cordelia. "Can I go to the set with you? Please? Pretty please? I promise to be good."
"You're lucky," Cordelia answered. "The episode takes place on a planet where it's always dark so they'll be shooting at night. And yes, you can come."
"When?" Angel asked, looking like an excited little kid.
"I...."
"What's the matter Cordy?" Fred asked, a bit concerned.
"I wasn't exactly their first choice. The actress who was supposed to do it got sick."
"Who cares? You were obviously their second choice and I'm so proud of you," Fred told her.
"We all are Cordelia," Wesley smiled.
"Cordy," Angel whined, "when do we go?"
"Tomorrow night. I have to be there by seven."
"Way cool!" Angel ran upstairs. "I'm getting out the new suit!"
Wesley's eyes widened, "You're not wearing an Armani to a movie set!" and ran upstairs after him.
"So," Cordelia smiled at Fred, "you want to help me with my lines?"
"You have lines?"
"Uh-huh, and a love scene also."
"Can we practice that first?" Fred asked, leering at her.
"I guess," Cordelia returned the leer, putting her hand out, the two women going upstairs.
Gunn sighed, then turned, seeing Connor coming out of the office. "Hey kid, just me and you. Wanna watch TV?"
"Nope," Connor shook his head. "Got me a date. Going to the zoo."
"A date?"
"Yep. A real life, non-demonic girl. Well, sort of. Three nights out of the month she's a werewolf."
"Nina?"
"She's not much older then me, and my fath...Angel...says we make a good couple."
"Cool. She got a friend for me?"
"Not today Gunn. Catch you later!" He ran out.
"Well, just me, myself and I...*again*. Let's see what's on the idiot box."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Wes," Angel was groaning, "how much longer?"
Wesley looked up from his spot between Angel's legs. "You keep complaining and I'm not going to stop."
"Aww c'mon. I like blow-jobs as much as the next guy, probably more, but I want...."
Wes crawled up Angel's body, straddling his chest. "What if I want you?"
Angel licked his lips. "Wanna ride me?"
"Oh yes, very much so."
"Then feel free, cowboy." Taking Wesley by the hips, he pulled him up. "You ride me until you can't see straight." Angel arched his body, holding Wesley above his thick cock. "I'm not coming until you're cross-eyed." Angel slowly lowered him, feeling the tight heat. "Feel good babe?"
"What is it with you and sappy endearments?" Wes chuckled, then gasped as Angel thrust up hard, impaling him.
"Oh you love it when I do that, don't ya...sweetheart?" Angel lifted him up then slammed him down. "You like it rough. Like to be fucked hard, taken."
Wesley's eyes fluttered shut as he rocked back and forth. "So good."
"You know it." Angel began to thrust up. "I love being deep inside you. Possessing you. Making you mine."
"Already yours," Wesley moaned, grinding himself hard, hands braced on Angel's legs to keep his balance.
Angel was moving faster now, lifting Wesley up and down with one hand, while the other stroked him. Sometimes it was nice to have superhuman strength. "Gonna come for me?" Wesley began to ride him harder. "Come on...give me what I want...." Angel gripped him harder, faster, driving himself deeper. "You're such a goddamn slut." That did it.
Wesley shot all over him, feeling himself come, opening his eyes to see Angel licking his hand.
"So sweet." Angel continued to pound into him, stopping his own orgasm, two hundred years of control, of learning how to give pleasure coming into play. "Want me to come yet?" He angled his thrust, hitting the prostate. "Tell me when and I'm gonna fill your tight ass."
"Ahh, yes, now Liam...."
Something about Wesley calling him by his real name made Angel wild; Wesley was the only one who ever called him that anymore. "Here it comes...." Angel gave one last shove, howling as his orgasm overtook him, feeling his face morph, fangs extending, feeling the urge to....
"Relax," Wesley soothed, rubbing his hands up and down Angel's chest. "Shhh. It was so good." He watched his lover's face come back.
Angel lifted him, slowly sliding out, pulling his lover into his arms. "Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll hurt you."
"You'll never hurt me," Wesley assured him. "Of that I have no doubt." He kissed his lover softly, almost chastely. "I'm glad we found that little loophole in your...curse."
Angel held him close. "Yep. The gypsies may have cursed me with permanent evil if I ever found happiness and love, but they only figured I'd want to find it with a woman."
"They should have known vampires were bisexual." Wesley stifled a yawn.
"Sleep Wes. We're hunting tonight. I love you."
"Mmm-hmm," Wesley muttered, half-asleep. "I know."
"Say it Wes."
"If I must."
Angel grinned. "Oh, you must."
"Love you too."
"I know." Angel held him, watching him sleep. He didn't need to sleep himself, but he knew how much Wesley enjoyed being held. He waited until Wesley was in a deep sleep, then carefully, silently, got up to get a cloth to clean them with. He watched his lover sleep, unmoving as the warm cloth touched him. A soft kiss to Wesley's cheek, and Angel got dressed, heading downstairs. On his way, his hearing picked up the moans and whispers from one of the upper floors.
"Do me Fred, get it in there...."
"Oooh Cordy, you are sooo beautiful...."
He smiled to himself, happy that they had all found the happiness they deserved. He had Wesley, Fred had Cordelia, Connor was getting along well with Nina...he saw Gunn making a face, staring at the phone. "What's up?"
"Nothing...absolutely nothing."
"No calls huh?"
"Nope."
"Cheer up Gunn. You'll find somebody."
"Yeah," Gunn sneered, "and they'll be evil, I just know it."
"C'mon, let's watch some TV. There's a Sentinel marathon on Sci-Fi."
"Yeah okay. But this time, keep the remarks about Blair to yourself."
"You don't think he's a cutie?"
"No." Gunn paused. "But Ellison...."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 3 - The Studio
Martin explains the situation
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Guys! Good to see you all," Martin was grinning from ear to ear.
"Marty," Jack nodded to him, trying to fight the grin. Something about the man made him smile. Maybe it was that original message left at the SGC, filled with innuendoes about every conspiracy known to the USA. They had, on occasion, spoken about those conspiracies, with each throwing out ideas as to what actually happened on the grassy knoll and what *really* happened to Amelia Earhart.
"Martin," Daniel and Sam nodded, shaking his hand.
"MURRAY!" Martin hugged the huge Jaffa like he was Martin's best friend in the world. And Teal'c returned the hug, albeit a bit reluctantly. He, like the others, had developed a soft spot for Martin over the years.
"So Marty," Jack said, "hear you got some snake problems."
"Uh yes, Colonel. I, well at first I thought it was me, you know, maybe I was having some kind of hallucinations or something."
"Martin!" Sam admonished. "You're not taking those medications again, are you?"
"No, none of that. Honest." Martin gave her a small smile. "Doctor Fraiser threatened me if I took any more. And that woman is *scary*."
"Oh yeah," Jack chuckled. "A real Napoleon."
"Exactly," Martin nodded. "Anyway, there I was, working a few nights ago, when I saw a tech walking across the set. I wondered what he was doing here so late and peeked around a trailer. His eyes were glowing. I mean they were *glowing*. That's when I called you."
"Have you seen him since?" Daniel asked.
"Earlier today," Martin said. "I don't know his name and nobody else seems to know him either." He handed them a sketch. "This was the best I could do."
"Okay then," Jack said, "you need to tell us what we're supposed to be doing here, when we're not going snake hunting."
"You guys can do the consulting thing and Teal'c, er, I mean Murray, is going to be my assistant. And don't ask me what an assistant is supposed to do, because I don't know." He perked up, grinning at Teal'c. "We can go eat if you want."
"That is acceptable," Teal'c told him.
"We start shooting tomorrow evening."
"Evening?" Jack asked.
"Yeah. It's a planet where it's always night."
"Cool," Jack nodded.
"Oh," Martin looked over, "there's the new Executive Producer. He'll give you further information. Come on Murray. Let's go get food."
Teal'c happily followed Martin to the commissary. He hadn't eaten in three hours and was starving.
Jack nodded as Ed Halloran, the new producer, came over. "Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson. I, uh, I've been here a few times...consulting."
"Whatever," Halloran sighed, turning to Daniel. "You don't look like a geek."
Daniel got a look at Jack's face and rubbed his back, calming him, knowing how much Jack hated it when Daniel was referred to as a geek. "I left my suit in Colorado."
"Doesn't matter. You can work with Gunne." Halloran nodded to Jack, "You've got Marlowe," then Sam, "and you have Reese. Anders is sick today. They're over there." He went to attend to his other duties.
"Oh no," Jack groaned.
"Nick Marlowe," Sam giggled like a teenager. "I am *so* excited. I have *got* to get his autograph for Cassie." She pouted at Jack. "*You* never brought one."
"You don't know him," Jack snorted. "He's a witless idiot."
"Johnny! Good to see ya!" Marlowe shouted.
"Can I shoot him?" Jack looked hopefully at Daniel. "Please?"
"Behave yourself," Daniel warned.
"Only if you take a bath with me tonight."
"Can I watch?" Sam grinned.
"I'll tell Janet," Daniel told her.
"You never let me have any fun," she pouted.
"All right Sam," Daniel shrugged, "next time we go to Jell-O wrestling I'll team up with you."
"Then who will I team up with?" Jack asked.
"Jonas sir," Sam grinned. "He won last week."
"Yeah?"
"Oh yes sir," Sam chuckled. "He kicked Big Bad Mathilda's ass last Thursday."
"Where was I?"
"That was the night we ate the Twinkies Jack."
A big smile came to Jack's face. "Oh yeah."
Nick Marlowe came over, along with Raymond Gunne and Yolanda Reese. "Hey Johnny, long time no see. How ya been?"
"Oh, just peachy...*Nicky*. How 'bout you?"
"Oh man, I have been great. Got that sci-fi award for best actor..." he threw his arm around Jack's shoulder, "...got me a producer credit...."
As they walked off, Jack turned to Daniel, who smirked at him, mouthing 'behave'.
"Egotistical moron," Raymond Gunne sighed. "Hi, I'm Ray Gunne. You're the scientific consultant, I take it."
"Uh, yeah. Doctor Daniel Jackson."
"Call me Ray and do you like to eat? Because I am starving. We can go over the new script, which involves a whole bunch of scientific stuff...."
This left Sam with Yolanda. "Uh, hi. Major Samantha Carter, your...consultant."
"Samantha Carter," Yolanda thought for a moment. "Didn't you write an article a few years back about the black hole phenomenon?"
Sam's eyes went wide as saucers. "You read that?"
Yolanda leaned in close. "I have a degree in Physics from NYU. But don't tell anyone. I have to maintain my...bimbo image."
They chatted for a while, until Yolanda excused herself, speaking in a low voice. "I'm taking online courses to earn a degree in chemistry and my class starts in five minutes. Can we discuss this later?"
"Definitely," Sam nodded quickly. "I'd like to hear some more of *your* theories."
Yolanda left and Sam had a brief thought of recruiting her for the SGC after Wormhole X-Treme went off the air; she'd have to speak with the General about it. Sam was debating whether to rescue Jack from Marlowe (she glanced over to see Jack fighting what she knew to be a murderous look) but decided against it. He deserved it for putting that snake in her sleeping bag. So she wandered the studio hoping to sense the Goa'uld. And she had a secondary mission as well: to collect all the autographs she could.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The four met up later in the day.
"Daniel," Jack was seething, "I'm gonna shoot him."
"I kinda like Ray," Daniel grinned. "He's a nice guy."
"The commissary food is better then the SGC," Teal'c added.
"T," Jack sighed, "*anything* is better then the SGC kitchen."
"I got autographs," Sam said. "And sir, Yolanda Reese has a PhD in physics."
"You're not thinking of...."
"Why not sir? Wormhole X-Treme won't be on the air forever."
"I hope it will be," Daniel pouted. "It supplements my income."
"Daniel," Jack said, "if Hammond finds out you've written three scripts he's going to kill you."
"He wrote one himself!" Daniel fired back.
"He did?"
"Yeah. The one where General Carson saves the team from the evil alien priestess."
"So, what now?" Sam asked.
"Now," Jack said, "we go back to our hotel and hope we find the snake soon. We have tonight and most of tomorrow free. Did either of you sense anything?"
Teal'c and Sam both answered "No".
"Jack," Daniel started, "the episode starts shooting tomorrow. Martin said he's a grip guy. I have a feeling he's going to show up then."
"I agree. Now, let's get out of here." Jack nodded to Daniel. "You owe me for listening to you and *not* killing Marlowe."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Both Lazaro and his symbiote had been watching, and listening, well aware of who these people were. The two got along rather well. The symbiote had never had a host that welcomed him, reveled in being joined, with the same bloodlust, the same hope for domination of humankind. If the symbiote could get a message to the Goa'uld and tell them about these 'vampires', blend with them, the Goa'uld would be stronger and utterly invincible.
And somehow the undead host could shield his existence from the Shol'va and the woman once blended. He had to stay now. He would bring the heads of the Shol'va and those known as SG1 to the System Lords where they would be displayed and he would know glory.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
By the time they got through rush hour traffic and arrived back at the hotel, all were starving. They went to their rooms, Jack changing in the bathroom, Daniel in the main room, as they knew if they caught sight of each other naked they'd never make it to dinner. There was plenty of time for playing afterwards. They met back a few minutes later in the hotel restaurant.
"You peeked Teal'c," Sam told him. "Wait until Janet gives you your next physical."
"What did you do?" Jack asked, very curious.
"He pretended to be in the bathroom, getting changed, but I saw him watching *me* get changed."
"You have a...class A body...SamanthaCarter," Teal'c smiled. "I could not resist."
"I think that was a compliment Carter," Jack nodded.
"I know that...*Jack*," Sam replied. "And why couldn't we get separate rooms?"
"Because, *Sam*, the USAF is cheap, you pay for double occupancy anyway and Hammond gave me a budget. Anything over and above is out of our pockets. Besides, the hotel was overbooked."
"How about we have wine?" Daniel suggested, as he perused the menu.
"Beer," the other three told him.
"You guys have no taste," Daniel said snidely. "This is Beverly Hills. You have wine here, not beer. It's so...declasse."
"Oooh," Jack snickered, "he's using the big words now. If that's the case, Doctor Linguist, then why do they have a separate beer list? Hmm? With forty-seven different brands."
"What is a 'Fosters Lager'?" Teal'c asked. "I do not know that one."
"Australian," Daniel answered.
"How do you know that?" Jack asked him. "Since when do you know beer?"
"Been living with you for a loooong time flyboy."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"No peeking T," Jack warned as they got to their rooms. "Remember, Janet does *your* physicals also."
"I do not fear JanetFraiser," Teal'c replied smugly.
"Teal'c," Daniel added, "do you know what an enema is?"
Teal'c thought for a moment. "I shall keep my eyes on my feet."
"Good choice," Jack nodded. "See ya in the morning."
The moment they got into the room Jack tossed Daniel over his shoulder, carried him across the room and dumped him on the bed. "Time to play."
"You smell Jack and so do I."
"I like how you smell Danny." Jack dove onto the bed but found himself alone as Daniel got up. "And I want sex." He sat up against the headboard, kicking off his shoes. "Raunchy, raw, hot, sweaty, sticky...do I have to go on sweetheart?"
"Jack...."
"Honey, lovermine..."
Daniel started to giggle.
"...babycakes...lambchop."
"Jack stop. I concede. I'll give in to your...wanton, lascivious..." Daniel got rid of his shoes and climbed into Jack's lap, facing him. "...unchaste yearnings."
"You forgot impure." Jack untucked Daniel's shirt, pulling it over his head, undoing Daniel's pants. "Dirty." He nuzzled Daniel's neck, fingers carding in his hair, bringing their mouths together for a soft kiss. "Lecherous, libidinous." Jack kissed his way up to Daniel's ear, hot breath blowing. "Immoral, lewd..." Nibbling on Daniel's ear, one hand sliding down the back of Daniel's pants, fondling his ass. "...*horny*."
Daniel rocked back and forth, tongue snaking out to slide along his upper lip. "C'mere." Jack moved forward and Daniel's mouth rained kisses all over his face, ears, neck, "Love you Jack," body twisting down hard, feeling Jack growing hard.
Jack took Daniel by the hips, stilling him. "Keep that up and I'm going to come in my pants."
Daniel slid his hands under Jack's shirt, pulling it off, taking Jack's hands in his, leaning down for a breath-stealing kiss, ignoring Jack's muffled pleas to stop, rocking harder.
Jack pushed against him, moaning softly. When Daniel finally let him up for air, his eyes were glazed. "My pants are wet."
Daniel smirked. "I know." His attempt to move was stopped by Jack, who pushed him flat.
Jack palmed Daniel's crotch, rubbing back and forth, laving one nipple, his other hand rolling the other, feeling it pebble. He switched, palm pressing harder, ignoring Daniel's pleas as Daniel had ignored him. His mouth moved back and forth, telling Daniel how hard he felt, how desperate Daniel must be to come.
"J-J-Jack...."
"That's it...." Jack worked Daniel's nipple with his teeth, hand sliding inside Daniel's pants, teasing the cockhead. Glancing up he watched Daniel's eyes roll back, squeezed his crotch, raised his head and watched as Daniel's come shot up his chest. Jack's mouth returned to Daniel's chest, licking the sweet cream, covering Daniel's body with his own, kissing him for all he was worth. "Love you Danny."
"Huh?"
A sly smile came to Jack's face. "I kinda like that look on you...vacuous."
"Uh-huh."
"C'mon. Bath time."
"No," Daniel pouted. "Sleepy now."
"Okay babe. Then we take a quick shower." Jack got up, went to the bathroom and turned on the water, getting undressed while the water warmed. He went back to find Daniel snoring peacefully. "Ah sweet Danny. I love you more then life itself." He got a wet cloth, took Daniel's pants off, gently cleaning him. "And there is no one else I would do this for." Jack reached Daniel's dick and found himself getting hard again. He placed a soft kiss to the tip, heard a groan and Daniel turned over, pulling the blanket over himself. "I *really* love you Daniel." A quick kiss to Daniel's forehead and he went back to the bathroom. "I hate showering alone." Five minutes later he came out, fought his sleeping lover for the blanket, pulled Daniel into his arms and went to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Jack?"
Jack was asleep, still dreaming. "Mmm, yeah?"
"Roll over."
"'Kay."
Daniel grinned, settling between Jack's legs. Leaning down he kissed one ass cheek.
"Good," Jack whispered.
Daniel kissed his way to the other cheek, nipping.
"Nice Danny," Jack sighed, cracking an eye open.
Daniel began to knead the cheeks, spreading them. One kiss to the center. "Sorry for falling asleep." One swipe of his tongue. "Thought I'd make it up to you." Another swipe and a kiss. "Forgot to give you a kiss goodnight."
Jack opened his eyes, turning to meet his lover's. "I forgive you."
Daniel licked some more, a finger sliding in beside his tongue.
"Ahh, yes...."
Two fingers, more licking.
"Daniel...oh baby, fuck me now...please...."
Daniel lubed his fingers, three entering, stretching.
"DANNY PLEASE!"
"Relax Jack, I'm getting there." Daniel pulled him to his knees, free hand slipping a towel beneath them, knowing there would be a wet spot. "You're beautiful."
"Beautiful is you," Jack murmured.
"Shut up Jack. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Daniel slowly pushed inside. "I love you more then you could imagine."
"I got a pretty good imagin....OHGODJESUSFUCKYESSSSS!" Jack was impaled, eyes closing as he lost any semblance of sane thought. He pushed back, meeting each thrust of Daniel's, growing dizzy.
"Stay with me Jack...feel me inside you. God you feel so good, so tight, so warm."
Jack took himself in hand, Daniel's hand wrapping around his, the two stroking Jack at the same pace Daniel was moving inside him.
"Danny, gonna come...." No sooner were the words out of his mouth that Jack gasped, coming hard, head tilting back, blindly searching for Daniel's mouth.
Daniel pressed his lips upon Jack's, orgasm overtaking him, moaning into Jack's mouth.
The moment Daniel released him, Jack fell flat, catching his breath, Daniel slipping out. "Cuddle before we have to get out of bed?"
Daniel smirked. "It's three o'clock Jack. We can sleep for a few more hours."
"You woke me up in the middle of the night to molest me?"
"Uh-huh. And I have a washcloth here and I put down a towel so there wouldn't be a wet spot."
"That's my Danny...a genius in every way." Jack rolled onto his back, Daniel cleaning then both up, the towel tossed to the floor.
Daniel snuggled into Jack's waiting arms. "Love you."
Jack kissed him softly. "I know. Love you too, you mushball."
"Sap."
"Only for you Danny."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 4 - Meeting And Greeting
Sam greets family, Angel Inc meets SG1, and Jack and Daniel have sex
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Wakey, wakey...."
Daniel heard the soft, pleasant female voice and pulled the pillow over his head.
"There, I tried sir," Sam huffed.
"Perhaps I can awaken him," Teal'c said.
Jack shrugged. "Go ahead."
Teal'c leaned down. "AWAKEN DANIEL JACKSON! THERE IS A GOA'ULD IN YOUR BED!"
Daniel jumped up, sheet twisted around him, tried to balance himself, instead rolling onto the floor.
"Ooh, that was nasty, T," Jack told him.
"Yes, but he is awake now."
A muffled voice was heard from the floor. "Where's my coffee?"
Jack blinked, mouthing "oh shit," and reaching for the room service menu.
"Why did you not advise me there was no coffee prepared for DanielJackson?" Teal'c asked, louder then he needed to, giving Jack a patented Jack O'Neill smirk.
"No coffee?" Daniel's voice was more awake now and held a dangerous edge. "You woke me up and you have no coffee?"
"Sir," Carter grinned, "Teal'c and I are going to...shop. You two...enjoy room service." She ended with a sly smile, took Teal'c by the arm and marched him out.
"I owe you one T," Jack yelled as the door closed behind them, muttering, "and you are going to get payback to this."
"Jack...."
Jack froze at the voice; Daniel standing right behind him, breath hot on Jack's ear, making him shiver.
"Jack, you're going to call room service and order me up a pot of espresso."
Jack picked up the phone. "Ya hafta eat babe," Jack replied, moaning softly, feeling the hard cock pressed against his jean-clad ass.
"Whatever," Daniel whispered, tongue caressing the lobe, one hand sliding around Jack's waist, groping him, pressing his dick harder.
"Pancakes?" Jack almost squeaked, as Daniel squeezed him, gasping as Daniel's palm stroked the length, growing harder in his pants.
"If you want." Daniel's other hand slid around, both hands on Jack's legs, pulling Jack against him.
Jack dialed, asking room service to wait at least fifteen minutes before bringing it up.
"Fifteen minutes Jack?" Daniel was humping his lover, still stroking Jack's clothed cock.
"It's going to be about one minute before I come, then fourteen to recover." Jack's head fell back onto Daniel's shoulder, Daniel attacking his neck. "Daniel...oh fuck, I'm gonna come in my pants."
"Can't have that," Daniel whispered, undoing Jack's pants, sliding them down with his boxers. He knelt on the bed, ass up in the air, spreading himself. "Take me Jack." He looked so decadent, so indecent, so...'un-Daniel'...and it always turned Jack on. This morning (well afternoon if you wanted to get technical) was no different.
Jack stepped out of his pants, standing there stroking his dick, eyeing Daniel's ass. "Lube?"
Daniel reached under a pillow, flinging it back to Jack, who caught it, flipped the cap and got some on his fingers in the same motion. He slicked the lube over his dick, stroking himself a bit harder, kneeling behind Daniel, dropping the tube on the bed, two fingers teasing the hole. He wrapped his other arm around Daniel's waist, shoved the fingers deep and held Daniel steady, not allowing him to move. A minute of this and Jack couldn't wait anymore. His fingers slid out, his dick slid in and Daniel screamed and bucked back.
"Easy Danny," Jack soothed.
"Hard Jack!"
"I can do hard...real hard." Jack gripped Daniel's hips tight, yanking Daniel back, impaling him, shoving him away, pulling him back, denying Daniel any control. He was hot and horny and he was using Daniel for pleasure and that turned him on even more. He eased up after a few minutes, letting his body calm down.
"Jack...."
"Patience, Danny." Jack slid one hand up Daniel's chest, pebbling a nipple, listening to Daniel whimper. His other hand slid down, fondling Daniel's dick, sliding back to finger his balls. His hips began to move, screwing Daniel, one hand jerking Daniel a little harder, the other working on the other nipple. His thrusts within became deeper, listening to Daniel sobbing with need.
"Please...Jack...I need more...."
Jack pounded harder and Daniel screamed his completion, his seed over Jack's hand. Jack came silently, eyes shut, concentrating on the feel of Daniel around him, wave after wave of come into Daniel, warming him, filling him. He finally stopped moving, catching his breath, his dick *very* reluctantly leaving its home.
Daniel dragged himself up and around, leaning in for a kiss, murmuring "Thank you" just before their lips met.
Jack moved away first. "Does this mean I'm forgiven for forgetting the coffee?"
Daniel appeared to think it over, looking down, took a deep breath and met Jack's eyes again. "If you ever forget the coffee again, I'm filing for divorce."
"Divorce?" Jack chuckled. "I want to keep the swords. You can have the fish."
"Jack, you won't be fully forgiven until you give me a blow-job later in the place of my choosing...*when* I choose it." Daniel narrowed his eyes, grinning maliciously. "Be afraid...be very afraid."
"Looking forward to when or where it is," Jack kissed him again, going to the bathroom to clean himself up, tossing a cloth to Daniel.
"Aww Jack, is the honeymoon over?" Daniel pouted. "You used to clean me up."
"If I clean you up you'll never get dressed," Jack chuckled. He heard the knock and quickly pulled on his pants, taking the cart from room service and giving the guy a nice tip. He turned to Daniel as he picked up the coffee pot. "Your espresso awaits...and so do your pancakes."
"I'm not hungry Jack," Daniel reached for the cup.
Jack pulled it away. "Uh-uh. No food, no coffee. I don't want you passing out from low-blood sugar."
"But Jack...."
"Please Danny?" Jack made a sad face, with puppy-dog eyes. "For me?"
"Okay Jack. I will eat some food. Happy now?" He put a pancake on the plate.
"Not acceptable," Jack said firmly, adding two more pancakes and drowning them in syrup. "There." He put down the coffee mug. "Now eat, then take a shower."
"We could shower together," Daniel said hopefully, eating a pancake.
"I already did, while you were sleeping."
"And you didn't wake me up?"
"It was seven o'clock, Danny."
"Oh, okay, then I forgive you."
"I'll see you downstairs in about a half hour. I have to go fight with management some more about getting Carter her own room."
"Play the military hero angle," Daniel suggested. "Bet you that gets her a room."
"Ya think?"
Daniel snickered. "YeahSureYouBetcha."
"Smartass," Jack muttered as he headed downstairs.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Told ya Jack," Daniel grinned.
"So you were right. Stop gloating."
"Thank you sir," Sam smiled as she entered her new room. "But I thought you said they were overbooked."
"I, uh, played the military hero angle. Showed my...NORAD ID. As soon as they saw that, they gave me the next available room."
"You have a NORAD ID?" Sam asked. "I don't have one. I mean, I know that's our cover, that we work there, but still...."
"I'm 2IC of the SGC, located under NORAD," Jack interrupted. "In case of an emergency with NORAD, if Eberhart or Findley are incapacitated and Hammond is unavailable, I can be called up to take command. My rank and experience still count in the military for some strange reason."
"So, when Eberhart and Findley were knocked down by that flu bug, *your* finger was on the trigger?" Daniel snickered. "Scary thought."
"Yep," Jack nodded. "I was sooo tempted to nuke my ISP."
"Still getting Spammed sir?" Sam asked.
"Yeah," Jack grimaced. "Like I need free Xanax." Three pairs of eyes looked at him. "I don't need Xanax!"
"Of course not sir," Sam said sympathetically, patting him on the back.
"Well I don't!" Jack insisted.
"Perhaps a little Valium," Teal'c cracked.
"You're walking a fine line T. Do you want to keep your modem and Playstation2?"
"Understood," Teal'c nodded. "Perhaps we should order some Xanax for Senator Kinsey."
Jack shrugged. "Did you notice the Senator has been more mellow in his speeches lately?"
"Jack, how did you....?" Daniel started.
Jack's only reply was a smirk.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Oh wow," Daniel was almost salivating. "Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow!"
"Daniel," Jack sighed, "it was only...."
"Oh wow Jack. I got Jennifer Garner's autograph. 'Alias' is my absolutely favorite show."
"Big deal Daniel," Sam added. "Yesterday I got...." Sam stopped, looking over Jack's shoulder. "I don't believe it." She ran over to a young woman. "Cordelia?" Sam stared at her. "Cordy!" She pulled Cordelia into a hug. "What are you doing here?"
"Maybe getting my big break," Cordelia giggled, returning the hug. "What brings you to Hollywood, Sam?"
"We're technical advisors on the show this week."
"You going to introduce us?" Jack asked.
"Oh sorry," Sam smiled at her teammates. "This is my cousin, Cordelia Chase. Cordy, this is Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson and...Murray."
"Hi," Cordelia grinned.
"You've got a part on the show?"
"Oh yeah. I have twenty-seven lines and a scene with Colonel Danning. It's so good to see you. How's life in the Air Force," Cordelia mock-saluted, "Captain Carter?"
"Actually, it's Major now," Sam replied.
"That is so cool. How's Uncle Jake?"
"My father is...fine," Sam nodded. "He's away on a top-secret mission. I don't get to see him much these days."
"I've been keeping in touch with Mark by email. He didn't say anything about that. Then again, I guess he couldn't because your Dad is a General and does important stuff for the government."
"Pretty much."
"So Cordelia," Jack gave her his friendliest smile. "Have you been on the set long?"
"Nope, just got here. Do you believe the plot of this show? Going to other planets?" Cordelia snickered. "Other dimensions, yeah, but planets?"
"Other dimensions?" Daniel asked.
"Yeah. I mean, this team, they should just stay right here on Earth and fight evil. That Colonel Danning, he could take on a whole slew of vamps and not miss a beat."
"Cordelia!"
She turned, smiling, then turned back to SG1. "This is Wes...Wesley Wyndham-Price. Wesley, this is my cousin Sam Carter and her friends. Wes is a partner in the firm I work for."
"The firm?" Sam asked.
"Angel Investigations." At Sam's look, she shrugged. "Private investigators. I'm sort of a partner too."
"And you should know she does excellent work," Wes nodded.
"Sam's a Captain, I mean *Major*, in the Air Force."
"The Air Force?" Wes asked.
"Creative consultants on the show," Jack said quickly.
"Ah, I see. And you are....?"
"Colonel Jack O'Neill, Doctor Daniel Jackson, scientific consultant, and...Murray."
Wes tilted his head. "*The* Daniel Jackson? The same man who presented a paper on extraterrestrials and the pyramids some years ago?"
"Now look here...." Jack started, watching Daniel duck his head.
"I thought that paper was fascinating and I wish I could have been there. I certainly wouldn't have walked out. I would love to hear some of your theories."
Daniel's eyes widened. "You would?"
"Very much so. Perhaps we can discuss it over dinner."
"Aren't you having dinner with someone else?" Cordelia asked, nodding to him.
"Angel will have to deal with it." Wes smiled at Daniel. "I'd like to bring another friend, who I happen to know would be interested also."
"Really?"
"Why are you so surprised Doctor Jackson? There are many of us who believe you were given the short end of the stick. If people have closed minds, they should not be working in any aspect of the sciences."
"Why don't we all go?" Jack suggested.
"I would like to sample some of the fare served in 'Tinseltown'," Teal'c said.
"No you don't," Cordelia shook her head. "But I know this Japanese place...."
"I'm not going back to the 'Hibachi Surf and Turf'," Wesley said, making a sour face. "How about steak?"
"Steak sounds good," Sam grinned.
"Where's Fred?" Cordelia asked.
"Autograph hunting somewhere." Wesley looked up, seeing the sun setting. "Angel's coming with Gunn and they should be here any moment."
"Gunn?" Jack asked.
"Charles Gunn," Wesley answered. "Another partner, along with Winifred Burkle. She's the woman who would also love to hear your theories, Doctor Jackson."
"Daniel, please," Daniel smiled.
"And call me Wesley," Wesley smiled back.
"Hey!" Jack snarled. "Don't be looking at him like that."
"Jack," Daniel soothed, "he's just trying to be friendly, that's all."
Wesley smirked. "Doesn't the military have a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy?"
"They don't ask," Jack sneered, "and if you tell you'll get a P-90 up your...."
"JACK!"
"I know Daniel. I'll...behave."
"He's kind of possessive," Daniel said.
"Yes, I know the feeling. Angel nearly tore a man's throat out one night."
"Testosterone-laden?" Daniel asked.
"Oh yes," Wesley nodded, "and then some."
"I have to go get my things," Cordelia said, as Welsey's cel rang.
"They're here," Wesley told them. "I'll go get them and we'll all go to dinner." He chuckled, turning to Daniel. "They can deal with their green-eyed monsters together."
"I shall return in a moment," Teal'c told them. "I noticed an assortment of headgear on that...set. I believe I shall change to a baseball cap for dinner."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Cordelia went to her trailer, smiling as she saw Fred waiting outside.
"I got a few autographs. It is so cool here."
"I ran into my cousin and we're all going to dinner."
"Your cousin?"
"Uh-huh. She's a military consultant on the show."
Fred's face fell. "Then we don't have time to...."
"Fred, we have later. I haven't seen Sam in so long. She was always my favorite cousin."
"Okay. Where are we...." Fred stopped as she saw the man behind Cordelia. "DUCK!"
Cordelia turned, seeing the bared fangs and dropped to the ground, seeing a shard of wood. She picked it up, jumped to her feet and staked it...nothing happened.
The man looked down, yanked the shard out, eyes glowing for a moment, mumbled something and took off.
"I never saw a vamp with glowing eyes."
"A demon-vamp?" Fred asked.
"I don't know, but I think we should get to the others."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angel and Gunn walked over with Wesley and Daniel's mouth dropped wide open. Wesley introduced them and Daniel quickly told his team that he needed to talk to them. SG1 followed him around a trailer, where Daniel seemed ready to hyperventilate.
Jack pulled him close. "Danny, take it easy. You look like you just saw a ghost."
"I think I did Jack. That man, Angel, he...."
"What?"
"He's the Goa'uld," Daniel stated.
"Are you sure?" Jack asked, turning to Sam and Teal'c. "You two getting any vibes off of him?"
"No," they answered in unison.
"Daniel, if he were a snake, they'd know."
"Jack, I know for sure."
Jack sighed, knowing Daniel wasn't going to let it go. "Okay, how do you know?"
Daniel took a deep breath. "He was at the museum."
"Okay Daniel, once again I am confused. What museum?"
"When my parents...he was *there*. And before you ask, after it happened, I was getting pushed aside and he...he took me out of the room. Said I shouldn't see anymore. Jack, there is no doubt that he is the same man."
"So what you're telling us, is that a Goa'uld, the most evil thing in the universe next to Cassie's math teacher, was *nice* to you?"
"I know it sounds weird but...."
"Daniel, weird doesn't cut it."
"Jack...."
Jack put up his hand. "I believe you. We *all* believe you."
"What do we do about it sir?" Sam asked. "This Angel is, or was, a friend of Cordelia's."
"We do what we have to do." Jack pulled his gun from his ankle holster. "We shoot it and do our best to explain."
"Jack! You can't do that here."
"Why not? They're shooting a western on that set over there. Nobody will notice."
Daniel was hesitant. "Well, maybe I should be sure before you shoot him."
Jack groaned. "Danny, either you're sure or you're not. Why don't ya just walk up to him, and make casual conversation in...Goa'uld. Catch him off guard. If he answers, I shoot."
They walked back, looking around, not seeing anyone.
"Colonel...." Sam looked up, seeing Angel running along a high catwalk.
They watched as Angel jumped off the catwalk, landing on his feet.
"Now I'm sure," Daniel nodded. "No human could survive a fifty foot fall."
"I believe you, I believe you. I'll shoot him," Jack smirked.
"HEY!" Jack yelled and Angel turned around. Jack shot him twice and Angel went down. "End of snake. And the next one to get shot is Marlowe."
"OWW! What did you shoot me for?" Angel groaned, sitting up. "I nearly had it."
The three stared at him.
"This was a new suit," he whined. "Wes got it for me. It's an Armani. I never had a designer suit before."
Sam drew her gun, and she and Jack both aimed at Angel.
"Shoot again and die."
SG1 turned to face Wesley and Gunn, both holding....
"Crossbows?" Jack stared.
"Take their weapons," Wesley told Gunn.
"I don't think so!" Jack retorted.
"Maybe you'd like an arrow in your chest," Gunn snarled, aiming at him.
Jack noticed Teal'c lurking behind one of the walls and nodded. Gunn kicked the guns aside, his aim never wavering.
"Angel are you okay?" Wes helped him to his feet.
"I'll live. Wes, they ruined my new suit."
Cordelia and Fred came running over. "We have a problem."
"Cordy, get away from him!" Sam screamed.
"This is my boss," she told them. "Angel, it got away."
"I know," Angel sighed. "Look at my new suit!"
"It gets worse," Fred nodded.
"How could it be worse then my suit having holes in it?"
"I staked it," Cordelia grimaced, "and it didn't turn to dust."
"Then you missed the spot," Angel nodded to her.
"No, I *didn't*. I know where to shove the stake. It didn't dust. It just growled at me, its eyes glowed, it mumbled something and took off in this direction." She blinked at him. "And just why didn't *you* get it?"
"Because I was shot!" Angel fired back.
"If I could interrupt," Jack said, "how come you're not dead?"
"Because you only shot me...and you destroyed my new suit!"
"Forget about your suit," Fred said. "The language that thing spoke was a *very* dead language. About two thousand years dead."
"How do you know that?" Daniel asked her.
"I speak fourteen languages, including three dialects of Pylean."
"I don't know that one," Daniel said, looking confused.
"I learned them in the demon dimension."
"Demon dimension?"
"HOW COME YOU DIDN'T DIE?!" Jack screamed.
"Ya know," Angel glared at him, "one more word out of you and I swear I'll...."
"What?" Jack sneered. "Bring it on."
"Oh, you wanna fight me? Sure, give it your best shot!"
Jack took a swing, connecting with Angel's jaw, grimacing as he held his hand. "That hurt."
"I don't like getting hit." Angel swung back, knocking Jack about ten feet. "Don't do it again."
"He is Goa'uld!" Teal'c yelled, lunging at Angel, tackling him.
The two wrestled for a few minutes, everyone aiming weapons.
"ANGEL STOP!" Cordelia screamed. "HE'S A FRIEND OF MY COUSIN'S!"
Angel jumped to his feet, holding Teal'c around the neck. SG1 got a look at his face and three mouths dropped open.
"What the fuck....?" Jack stared.
Angel stared at Teal'c. "What kind of demon are you?"
"He's not a demon," Daniel said softly.
"Really?" Angel replied, squeezing Teal'c neck harder. "He's certainly not human."
"He's not an Earth human," Daniel said softly.
"Then he's from a Hell dimension," Gunn said. "I say we get rid of him."
"Angel, put him down," Cordelia said. "Please?"
Angel dropped Teal'c, glaring at him.
"The rumors I heard were true," Daniel muttered.
"Here we go again," Jack sighed.
"That's why he still looks the same. He doesn't age."
Angel stared at Daniel, his face returning to normal. "I know you."
"Yes, I think you do."
"1971, the museum. You're Claire's kid, the genius. Daniel, right?"
"You knew my mother?"
"Yeah," Angel nodded, "for a long time."
"How?" Daniel asked.
"Daniel," Jack said, shaking his head, "is he Goa'uld or not?"
"What's a goold?" Fred asked.
"Goa'uld," Daniel corrected. "Parasitic creatures."
"Demons," Gunn nodded.
"Not demons," Sam blurted. "Aliens."
"Carter!"
"Aliens?" Angel looked skeptical. "Like ET?"
"Can I have my crossbow?" Cordelia asked Wesley. "And if you got one mark on it, I swear...."
"*Your* crossbow?" Sam asked.
"Yep," Cordelia nodded. "Made it myself. Good for killing demons, vampires, and other assorted bad guys."
"Then why don't you shoot *him*?" Jack asked, nodding to Angel.
"You're Angelus, aren't you?" Daniel asked.
"Who?" Jack asked, growing more confused.
"The vampire with the soul."
"How do you know these things?" Jack asked, eyes widening.
"I read something other then Cracked," Daniel fired back.
"I love Cracked," Angel grinned at Jack. "Maybe you're not as annoying as you seem. And you look familiar also."
"Oh, I didn't introduce you," Cordelia winced. "Sorry. Uh, other then Daniel, who you obviously know, this is my cousin, Sam Carter, Jack O'Neill, and Murray."
"I already introduced everyone," Wesley nodded. "Daniel, this is Winifred Burkle. Fred, Daniel Jackson."
"Doctor Daniel Jackson," she sighed, blushing slightly, giggling like a schoolgirl. "Oh my. I never thought I'd get to meet you. Your theories on the Egyptians being older then recorded history were...."
Angel began to laugh, staring at Jack. "I knew I knew your face! You're related to Rebecca O'Neill."
Jack tilted his head. "There hasn't been a Rebecca in my family in over a century."
"I knew her."
"She's been dead for a hundred years!"
Angel shrugged. "And I've been dead for over two hundred."
"And you don't look a day over one hundred and fifty," Wesley smiled at him.
"Aww, thanks Wes."
"Can we go to eat?" Gunn asked.
"I'd like to hear more about these Goa'uld," Wesley said.
"And I'd like to know how a vampire got a soul," Daniel added.
"I'd like to call Bellevue on the lot of you," Jack threw in.
"Jack...." Daniel warned.
"Behaving Daniel...behaving."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 5 - Comparing Notes
Daniel and Cordelia have something in common; Jack and Daniel join Angel on a vampire hunt
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Jack, eat your food," Daniel told him. "And it's not polite to stare."
"I thought you...drank blood," Jack said, watching Angel dig into his steak.
"Well, yeah," Angel nodded, sipping a Margarita. "And I like steak and tequila too."
"You're not actually going to eat that, are you Charles?" Fred asked, staring at his plate.
"They are escargot," Gunn said haughtily, nose in the air.
"A snail is a snail," Cordelia grimaced. "It's really gross."
"Do not snails leave trails of, I believe O'Neill referred to it as snot, as they move?" Teal'c asked, raising an eyebrow as he too stared at Gunn's plate.
"Can I eat my meal in peace?" Gunn sighed. "At least I'm not eating an animal that was stunned to death."
Jack and Angel both smirked. "MOOOO!"
"Eat your food Liam," Wesley told Angel, "and maybe you'll get dessert."
"Who's Liam?" Daniel asked.
"I am," Angel shrugged. "But nobody calls me that but Wes and Spike."
"Liam?" Jack chuckled. "What a sissy name."
"When I was born, it was quite popular. Manly even."
"Spike?" Daniel put down his fork. "As in *William The Bloody* Spike?"
"William The Bloody?" Sam asked.
"Nineteenth century poet-wannabe and vampire," Daniel answered.
"That's it Daniel!" Jack snapped. "You are going to get a life if it kills me!"
"What did I say?"
"You read too much Dannyboy. Nobody else would have heard of Spike but you and a few other weirdo's."
"Jack's got a point," Angel added. "Anybody who knows about his poetry definitely needs a life." He looked at Wesley. "And what do you mean I don't get dessert? I don't wanna eat the lima beans. They're yucky. And stop calling me Liam in public."
"So enlighten us...Liam," Jack grinned. "How long have you been around?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two hours later the group had discussed the Goa'uld, demons, vampires and Angel.
"What I don't understand," Sam said, "is why *we* didn't know about this Jasmine character. From what you tell us, she had the world convinced that she was some sort of Messiah."
"We're offworld so much," Daniel figured, "that we probably just didn't notice. We come back, we're so tired that we don't care."
"Getting Cordelia back was the best part of the last year," Fred smiled.
"Where did you go?" Sam asked.
"Oh, I, er...." Cordelia didn't know quite know how to explain it.
"The 'Powers That Be'," Angel said. "They took her. I didn't see it, but this demon, Chuck, he told me she sort of flew up into a light."
"Chuck?" Jack just stared at him. "A demon named *Chuck*?"
"Not a nice place," Cordelia nodded. "I looked like a...a...squid thingy."
Daniel began to choke and Jack spit his food all over the table.
Daniel finally caught his breath. "A squid thingy?"
"Yeah," Cordelia rolled her eyes.
Daniel studied her for a moment. "You talked about your hair," he whispered softly. "And how you hated being a...."
Cordelia's mouth dropped open as a memory surfaced. "And you kept leaving to go see..." she turned. "...Jack."
"That's pretty much why they threw me out. I interfered. But why did they let you go?"
"They said they were fed up with my bitching and whining. Well, that and the fact that unlike you, my body was still here, in a coma. Even *they* felt sorry for my friends who had to keep seeing me."
"But you still had to *choose* to come back. For me it was Jack. And Sam and Teal'c and...well, just about everyone I knew."
"I had to see my friends again, they needed me. I watched Fred pretty much bawl like a baby. That's how I found out she loved me. And I sorta loved her too."
"Sort of?" Fred asked, leering at her.
"Well, okay, that I *did* love her."
"Wait a second," Sam said, "Cordelia, you...ascended?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "That's what they called it. Didn't understand it though."
"I can explain it," Daniel told her.
Cordelia shook her head. "No thanks. In this case, I like being ignorant."
"I think I need to talk to Chuck," Angel said. "Maybe he can explain what's going on. He's not only a demon, he's an informant also."
"I'll go with you," Gunn added. "He owes me a hundred bucks from the Chargers game."
"I would like to join you," Teal'c intoned, "and meet this...demon."
Wesley stood. "Fred and I need to do some research. There's an ancient tome that speaks about the 'melding'. It may have to do with your Goa'uld."
"I'm going home," Cordelia said. "I need to get showered before I go back for my scenes."
"I'd like to see your place," Sam smiled.
Daniel took care of the check, grinning as he told them the military would reimburse them.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Teal'c, Gunn, and Angel went to meet with Chuck, Wesley and Fred went to do their research and Cordelia took Sam to her apartment, with Jack and Daniel tagging along. Daniel had wanted to go with Wesley and Fred, but Jack vetoed it, telling him that they didn't spend enough time together. Truth be told, Jack didn't want Daniel out of his sight.
"There are no such things as vampires," Jack muttered.
"Yes Jack," Daniel soothed. "You just keep telling yourself that."
"Have a seat," Cordelia smiled, looking around the room. "This is Sam Carter, my cousin, and her friends Doctor Daniel Jackson and Colonel Jack O'Neill."
A chair slid over and Sam found herself pushed into it.
"That's Dennis," Cordelia shrugged. She watched a glass hurl itself at Jack. "DENNIS!" The glass set itself down. "Behave." The bat picked itself up behind Jack. "NO!" The bat dropped.
"Who's Dennis?" Daniel asked.
"My ghost," Cordelia nodded matter-of-factly. "He died here and he's stuck here."
"A ghost?" Jack automatically lifted his gun and the gun was snatched away, floating in midair.
"Dennis, please behave," Cordelia said sweetly. The gun dropped. "He served for a short while in the Marines. Didn't have an easy time of it either."
A tray came out with four glasses of juice and slices of pie, stopping at Sam, Daniel, and Cordelia. When the tray got to Jack, he reached for the glass, instead getting the juice thrown in his face.
"Oh," Cordelia winced, "I don't think Dennis likes you."
"Ya think?" Jack sputtered. He ducked as the pie was thrown at him. "You know, I figure you don't like Marines. I don't like 'em either. I'm Air Force." He paused. "What am I saying!"
"Yeah," Daniel snickered. "He *hates* Marines."
A washcloth came out a moment later, along with a glass of juice and a fresh piece of pie, setting itself in front of Jack. "Uh, thanks."
"I'll be right back. I want to change." Cordelia went into the bedroom, screaming "Dennis behave!" as she closed the door.
Jack looked around. "Ghosts? Vampires? What's next?"
A moment later there was a knock at the door and Sam opened it.
"Is Cordelia Chase here?"
"Yes she is. Come in," Sam told him.
The man moved forward but stopped. "This isn't your apartment, is it."
"Great, even I know this one," Jack smirked. "You're a vampire and you can't enter unless the owner invites you. Hey, I watch the late show too."
The man's face morphed. "I dare you to come outside and say that."
"I can also use one of these." Jack casually picked up the crossbow and fired, hitting the right spot, watching the vampire turn to dust. "If it were only so easy to get rid of the Goa'uld."
"*Now* do you believe?" Daniel snickered.
"No. Because if I say yes, I'll have to commit myself."
Cordelia came out, seeing Jack with the crossbow. "I can make you one if you like."
"He just...'dusted a vampire'," Daniel grinned.
"Cool." She glanced at the floor. "Not so cool. Everytime this happens I have to sweep it up." A broom moved over and began to sweep. "Thanks Dennis. You're such a sweetie." Her phone rang and she spoke for a few minutes. "Angel got the information we need. We have to meet him at Highland Hills cemetery. He's dropping Murray off to help Wes and Fred with some translations."
"The cemetery?" Sam asked.
"Uh-huh. There's something weird going on there."
"Well, gee whiz. It's a cemetery. Of course weird things go on there," Jack groaned. "Just what I planned on doing. Going to a cemetery at night." He looked around. "You got an extra crossbow?"
"Take mine." Cordelia looked at the clock. "I can't go with you. I have to go back to the studio. My first scene shoots in an hour."
"I'll stay with you Cordy," Sam offered.
"And we'll go to the cemetery Jack," Daniel smiled.
"I'll drop you off," Cordelia nodded.
"We're *supposed* to be locating a Goa'uld."
"Jack, we have to do what we have to do. Goa'uld, vampire...does it really matter if the evil is Earth-made or not?"
"Okay Daniel. But don't go getting bitten. It would probably triple my paperwork."
"Thanks Jack. Nice to know you care."
"You might want to take this sir." Sam handed him a Zat. "I have another one at the hotel. We'll stop off and pick it up."
"Carter, how did you get permission to take this off base?"
"Permission sir?"
"Never mind," Jack sighed. "I'll approve it when we get back. Just back date the forms."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sam and Cordelia sat in the front, Jack and Daniel in the back.
"How long to the cemetery?" Jack asked.
"About twenty minutes," Cordelia answered, going into a conversation with Sam about Jacob and his 'new life'.
Jack smirked, hand on Daniel's crotch, rubbing it.
"Jack...."
"I owe you babe." Jack unsnapped Daniel's pants, lowering the zipper. "Now's as good a time as any." His hand slid in, fondling Daniel, who stared at him. "Hey, it's LA. You think anybody cares?" He pulled Daniel's dick out, lowered his head and swallowed.
All Daniel could do was sit there, speechless.
Jack sucked hard, moaning softly, one hand slipping down the rear, playing with Daniel's ass. Jack lifted his head, leering at Daniel. "Mmm, good," Jack sighed, bobbing his head up and down.
"Should I put the top down?" Cordelia asked, turning around. "OH SHIT!"
"What?" Sam asked, turning. "Keep the top up."
"Put it down," Jack's voice floated from the back seat. "I don't mind if anyone watches."
"I DO!" Daniel shrieked.
"Shut up Danny and take it like a man." Jack's mouth slid over Daniel's dick again, his other hand squeezing Daniel's balls.
"Jack...oh God...." Daniel was off on a verbal tangent, mixing a few languages, finally ending with a very audible, "OH JACK!"
Jack swallowed what he could, mouth finding Daniel's, sharing kisses, trying to climb into Daniel's lap.
"Uh guys," Cordelia said, checking her rear view mirror, "isn't that illegal?"
"Not in California," Jack chuckled. "Now if we were in New Hampshire or Virginia...."
"You have tissues up there?" Daniel asked. Sam flung the box back, hitting him in the head. "Thanks Sam."
"You're welcome Daniel."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"BOO!"
Jack jumped and glared at Daniel. "How would you like me to shoot you?"
"Give me that!" Connor snatched the crossbow from Gunn. "You should have brought your own. You have a stake."
"How's Nina?" Angel asked.
"She's all right. I left her chained up and sedated."
"Excuse me?" Jack's eyes went wide. "You chained a woman up? And sedated her?"
"Full moon tonight," Connor shrugged. "Don't want her hurting anyone. But I'll make it up to her."
"Don't tell me," Daniel chuckled. "She's a werewolf."
"Only three nights out of the month," Connor smiled at him, then smirked at Gunn. "At least she's not a demon."
"Hey! I didn't know she *was* a demon until her claws shot out and she tried to tear me a new one...literally."
"Ouch," Daniel winced.
"Yeah," Gunn hung his head, "and she had the nicest pair of...DUCK!"
Daniel dropped and Connor shot the vampire going for Daniel. He and Gunn high-fived as the vampire dusted.
"I love doing that," Connor chuckled.
"Hey kid," Jack started, "do your parents know what you're doing tonight?"
Connor nodded.
"And they let you?" Jack asked, incredulously.
"He calls it bonding." Connor glared at Angel. "Isn't that right...*Dad*?"
"Dad?" Jack and Daniel asked in unison.
"I thought vampires couldn't procreate," Daniel said.
"We can't," Angel answered. "It's a long story."
"Tell me later?"
"You got it."
"Uh, Danny, I think you should move."
"Why Jack?"
"'Cause there's a guy with fangs right behind ya...."
Jack aimed the crossbow, but before he could fire the vampire turned to dust.
"I hate bloodsuckers," Wesley sighed. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, thanks," Daniel smiled. "Where are Fred and T...Murray?"
"Translating." Wesley dug into his pocket, smiling at Daniel. "Juicy Fruit?"
"Hey!" Jack growled. "Quit smiling at him like that. I don't like it."
"Neither do I," Angel added.
"Angel, you really need to stop this jealousy," Wesley shook his head. "It's becoming rather bothersome. I can't even speak with someone without you...losing your cool."
"Uh guys," Daniel said softly, "you might want to put this off for a little while."
"And why is that Daniel?" Jack asked, facing Wesley.
Daniel pointed. "Because I count six people over there with fangs and they look hungry."
"Ya know, all I wanted was a nice peaceful time shooting Goa'uld," Jack pouted, as he aimed his crossbow, dusting one vampire. "But do I get it...noooo." He shot another, and was about to load another set of arrows when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around, was picked up, and thrown across the cemetery.
Wesley snarled and threw a stake through one of the vampires.
Gunn drop-kicked the fourth, dusting it.
"HEY!" Angel grabbed the fifth one and threw him against a tree, right through a branch.
"That's it," Connor grinned. "We're done for the night."
"That was five," Gunn said. "What happened to number six?"
"LEMME GO!"
"DANIEL!" Jack screamed. He flung himself at the vamp, spinning him around and punching him in the face. The vampire barely flinched, tightening his grip around Daniel's neck.
Jack got to his feet, aiming the Zat. "Hey Dracula! Eat this!" Daniel wrenched himself free, hitting the dirt. Jack shot the vamp once and nothing happened. A second time, the vamp flinched, the third, it went down. The fourth time it was definitely dead, so Jack shot it a fifth time, watching it dust. He immediately went to Daniel, pulling him to his feet. "You can't stay out of trouble, can you? Planet Earth, P2X-something, wherever we are, you attract the nuts." He pulled Daniel into a hug. "No more dying. You promised me. I don't want to lose you again." Jack kissed him, uncaring that they were being watched. He broke the kiss, looking into Daniel's eyes and kissed him again, backing him up against a mausoleum. "Ever done it in a cemetery Danny?"
"No, I haven't," Daniel replied, catching his breath. "And I don't intend to anytime soon, thank you very much." He gently pushed Jack away. "You've got that look in your eyes."
"It's the adrenaline rush," Jack's eyes made a slow path down Daniel's body, stopping at his crotch. "Look's like you got quite a rush too."
Daniel had the courtesy to blush.
"We should head back to the hotel and see what Fred and Murray came up with," Angel told them.
"Jack," Daniel said softly, "it took five Zat blasts to take out that vampire."
"I noticed Daniel. Maybe because it was already dead. At least I hope that's the reason."
"Cordelia said she staked the Goa'uld/Vampire and it didn't turn to dust. I have a feeling it's going to be a bit difficult to kill. And speaking of Cordelia, where's her crossbow?"
"I have to get it. I sort of dropped it when I whipped out the Zat."
"'Whipped out' Jack?" Daniel chuckled to Jack's retreating back.
Jack went back for the crossbow, bent down to pick it up, but was grabbed by the shoulder and spun around. The eyes he met glowed the same as a Goa'uld, but they glowed red. This was their quarry. Jack wanted to scream but was unable to; his voice wouldn't work. He stood there, unmoving, the vampire circling him, standing behind him. A hand rested on his shoulder and he got lost; the world around him was suddenly blurred. It was almost surreal.
Lazaro led him into the mausoleum, pressing him against the wall, lips at Jack's ear, whispering.
Jack listened, nodding, breathing deeper.
"Do you want this?" Lazaro asked, nuzzling his neck.
Jack moaned, laying his head back. His shirt was pulled aside, teeth sinking into the flesh, eyes falling shut. He grew dizzy as the thing's saliva entered his bloodstream, the feeling so carnal, so erotic, that he came in his pants. Jack was slowly losing consciousness, and going willingly.
Lazaro watched him slide to the floor, a smile on his face. 'You are mine O'Neill. You just don't know it yet.' He had made Jack more...pliable. The Goa'uld alone could be seductive when it wanted to be, but Jack O'Neill wouldn't have fallen; the demon host magnified everything tenfold. Jack hadn't stood a chance. The sounds of the others outside caught his ear and Lazaro fled, leaving Jack laying there, hovering between life and death. He heard their shouts, watched as they carried Jack to the car. He grinned now. He had turned the leader of SG1. And the Colonel would accomplish what others had failed to do.
"You will destroy Angelus," Lazaro muttered, "and you will bring SG1 to me."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 6 - Darkness Falls
Jack has a bit of a problem, to say the least
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"He is a vampire," Wesley stated, "and he's going to want to feed. It is *our* job to prevent that."
"We won't allow you to kill him," Daniel stated firmly, Teal'c beside him, sneering at Wesley.
"You don't know...."
"No. *You* don't know!" Daniel almost snarled. "Jack has survived worse then this. There are beings in the universe that make vampires and demons look like puppies. And if Jack didn't fall to those, he won't fall to a bloodsucker."
"He can feed from me Wes," Angel said. "He isn't fully