Disclaimer: I'd like to have Jack, or Daniel, or Jonas, or all three for just one night, but alas they are fictional characters.
Innocence Lost
By The Huntress
Authors Note: This one is for Bob the Frogman, who challenged me to write some Jonas-angst involving the Marines. I don't do angst too well, but I tried, really I did
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jack got the order for his team to head back to the SGC from P3X-984. Hammond felt his flagship team deserved some time off; they'd been nonstop for two months now. SG16 could handle things and they had SG19, a Marine contingent, with them for protection. Not that they would need any; the planet was quieter then anyplace Jack had ever been.
"I'd like to stay sir," Jonas smiled. "If that's acceptable."
"I don't know. I'm not in the habit of leaving any member of my team behind."
Jonas' smile turned into a grin. "A member of your team?"
"That is what you said O'Neill," Teal'c almost smirked.
"I heard it too sir," Sam snickered.
"Yeah, well," Jack started, "you've been with us for two months so I guess that qualifies you."
"Yes sir! Thank you sir!" Jonas was practically beaming.
"Don't let it go to your head," Jack added, trying to hide the smile.
Jonas went back to his tent, a spring in his step, actually giggling.
"I think he needs some psychiatric help," Jack said, shaking his head.
"Sir," Sam smiled, "this means alot to him. Your approval is very important."
"I know Carter. And stop smiling. I get enough of that from him."
They packed up their things and before they started back to the gate, Jack pulled Jonas aside. "You going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine sir," Jonas answered. "I'd like the opportunity to finish these experiments here. They'll be tainted if I try them back at the SGC."
"Okay. I'll...I mean we'll check back with you later. I...*we* need to be sure you're okay."
"Thank you sir," Jonas said softly. "It means a lot to me."
"I know. Behave yourself."
"I will."
Before they left, Jack had a brief word with Colonel Corcoran, nodding to Jonas as they spoke. Jack gave Jonas one last smile before he entered the wormhole.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jonas was relaxing after a day of analyzing some of the core samples. He'd found a stream with clear water and opted to take a bath instead of using the cleansing cloths provided for missions. He thought about *his* team, thoughts quickly turning to his CO, and what Jack had said before they left. His use of the word 'I', quickly amending himself to 'we'.
'I guess he cares but doesn't want me to know,' Jonas smiled to himself, picturing the naked Jack he'd seen in the locker room; he quickly found himself with a hard-on. 'Jonas, stop thinking about the Colonel that way. He doesn't like men. He was married. And you *know* from what you've read that homosexuals don't serve in the United States armed forces.' He got out, wishing for all he was worth that Jack liked men, but quickly shook off the thought. 'You better watch it or you're going to slip up and do something stupid.'
"Hello Quinn," Colonel Corcoran said, smiling at him.
Jonas got out of the water, standing there naked. He reached for his towel, but Captain Seritas pulled it out of his reach.
"You're not going to need that."
Jonas felt his heart drop into his stomach and reached for his clothes. They were also grabbed and tossed aside. "I need my clothes."
"You won't need those either," Lieutenant Lowell said, menace in his voice.
Jonas opened his mouth, but Corcoran grabbed him from behind, hand over his mouth. He felt a punch to his kidney, falling to his knees and he was kicked in the ribs. "Why are you doing this?" he groaned, holding his side.
"O'Neill told me to take care of you. I'm just following orders."
"What...what are you going to do?" Jonas asked, gasping as he was kicked again.
"Gonna have some fun," Sergeant Vargas laughed.
Jonas was pulled to his hands and knees.
"I like pretty boys," Corcoran said.
"No, you can't...."
Vargas grabbed him by the hair. "Oh yeah, we can. We're just following orders."
Two hands groped Jonas' ass. He began to sob, knowing what was going to happen.
"Let's fuck him."
"NO!" Jonas managed to yell out, before the hand was over his mouth again. He tried to fight, but more hands grabbed him, held him still. He felt the pain of raw penetration, trying to pull away, twisting his body, which only seemed to make the pain worse.
"Tight ass you got Quinn."
Jonas continued to sob, relieved when Corcoran moved out of him, but his relief was short lived as Seritas took his place. He was getting dizzy, growing sick as he was taken by Corcoran again.
"Fuck his mouth. I bet he never gave a blow-job before."
His hair was grabbed, a hand under his chin. He clenched his jaw shut, feeling the cock there, rubbing along his lips. His hair was yanked, he opened his mouth to scream and it was shoved inside. He gagged as he felt it in the back of his throat.
"Gonna come."
Jonas felt it, choking. Corcoran pulled out and Jonas threw up.
*SMACK*
"You're supposed to swallow it. Guess we'll have to try again."
"Take his cock and jerk him off. Betcha he comes."
Lowell's cock at his lips and Jonas clenched his mouth shut again. His hair was pulled hard, but he didn't open it. A punch to his kidney again and he did scream. His head was held still as his mouth was taken, and he was taken from behind again, grabbed between the legs, fondled. He felt himself growing hard, trying to stop it.
"Told ya. Look at him. Hard as a rock."
"Suck my cock you son-of-a-bitch, swallow what I give you."
Jonas didn't know how long it went on. He was taken over and over, his sobs ignored. He felt himself come to orgasm, felt his own release and that just made it worse.
The hands suddenly left him and he got a kick between his legs. Jonas grew dizzy, sure he was going to pass out. He was afraid to move, until he was sure the Marines were gone. He finally crawled to the water, cleaning himself as best he could, got out, put his clothing on, curled up into a ball and cried himself to sleep.
The next morning he returned to camp. Major Marsh of SG16 said she'd been worried when he didn't come back, but the Marines had explained that he'd wanted to be alone for the night. He just nodded to her, glancing at Corcoran, who nodded to him, giving Jonas a glare while fingering his knife.
The look was clearly understood. If Jonas said anything, he was dead. He spent the entire day sticking close to SG16, then explained to Marsh that he had to go back to the SGC to complete some other work.
SG1 was happy to see their newest member returned, with Jack making a crack about 'troublesome geeks'.
Jonas barely said anything to them, claiming that he was tired. Following his post-mission testing with Janet (and thanking any deity he could think of that she didn't do a rectal exam), he went straight to General Hammond's office.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jack was on his way home, happy that Jonas had returned safely. He didn't want to admit it to anyone, but he had been concerned about Jonas alone without SG1...without him. The younger man had grown on him. 'Admit it Jack. He's crawled into your heart. How far in, you have *no* fucking idea.' He shook his head. 'No, you know how far. He's gotten all the way in and made himself at home.' Jack nodded to himself. 'Yep. You went and did it; you really did. You have fallen...*hard*.' He stopped for a quick bite to eat and continued home. 'Now, the question is, how are you going to tell him.'
He ran into the house to change his clothes, letting the dog out into the yard. There was no time to walk her; he had tickets to the Avalanche game and wanted to make it on time. As Jack changed, he realized something was gnawing at him and it took him a few minutes but he finally figured it out.
Jonas wasn't smiling.
He had come back from the planet with no smile. No spring in his step. No light in his eyes.
Jack forgot about the game; he immediately headed back to Cheyenne Mountain.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I want to go back to Kelowna."
General Hammond looked at the young man standing in front of his desk. "Mister Quinn, are you aware that your people have...."
"I know. I'm a traitor and they'll put me in jail if I return. I want to go home."
"Have you thought...."
"I WANT TO GO HOME!" Jonas screamed. "Unless you're keeping me prisoner here, you have to let me return."
"I'll arrange for it," Hammond said calmly. "It will take a couple of days, as we need to debrief you about what you can and cannot talk about when you go back."
"I know what I can and can't talk about." Jonas' eyes were almost feral. "I want to go back *now*."
"Has something happened?"
"Will you or won't you allow me to go home immediately?"
Hammond was worried. Jonas looked close to tears. "All right son. I'll see to it that you can leave within the hour."
Jonas just nodded and left the office.
The General picked up his phone, quickly calling Jack. "Colonel, where are you?"
"I'm on my way back. Something happened to Jonas."
"That's what I was calling you about. Do you know what happened?"
"No sir. But I intend to find out."
Arriving back, Jack had a talk with Hammond, the two agreeing that maybe Jonas needed some time off the base. Jack had an extra ticket to the game and the General agreed to allow Jonas the night away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jack knocked on the door, opening it slowly. "Jonas, I have two tick...." His voice trailed off as he saw the younger man sitting on the bed, eyes full of tears. "What....?"
"You left me," Jonas told him.
"Jonas, what happened?"
"YOU LEFT ME WITH THEM!"
"With who?" Jack was thoroughly confused.
"SG19."
Jack's eyes grew wide, wondering what Corcoran and his men had done. He sat down next to him, instinctively wrapping Jonas in his arms. "What the hell happened?"
Jonas struggled, but Jack just held tighter. "Please let me go."
"No, I can't do that," Jack whispered, feeling Jonas begin to shake in his arms, body wracked with sobs. "Tell me what they did."
"It hurt," Jonas blurted out. "They wouldn't stop. I begged them to stop but they wouldn't."
Jack felt a lump form in his throat, realizing what had happened. "Oh God. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't fight them all. They hurt me...."
Jack began to rock him back and forth.
"I want to go home. I can't stay here."
"Shhh. I'm going to take you home with me for the night."
"No, I want to go back to Kelowna."
"Jonas, you've learned about regs. Hammond has to take care of paperwork before you can go. I'll take you home with me and tomorrow I'll dial you back to Kelowna myself." Jack released him. "Let's clean you up." Jack steered Jonas to the bathroom. "Wash your face and we'll leave."
"They're going to kill me."
"That's not going to happen. You need to trust me."
"I can't," Jonas said flatly. "You left me." He washed his face.
Jack didn't have an answer, only to say, "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," Jonas half-laughed, as he followed Jack to the door. "I'm sure you are."
Jack didn't stop to explain anything to Hammond. He'd do that later on. The most important thing right now was to get Jonas away from the SGC.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"This creature is Molly," Jack grinned, seeing Jonas' look. "No dogs on Kelowna?"
"No sir."
"She's a pain in the ass, never listens. I think she was a scientist in a previous life." Jonas' face remained impassive. "You want something to eat? Wanna watch some TV? I get two weather channels."
"No sir." Jonas' eyes were welling with tears again.
Jack sighed. "You need to relax."
"I don't need to do *anything*!" Jonas snapped, breathing rapid. "Just leave me the fuck alone!"
"Okay." Jack put his palms up, more then a bit concerned. He'd never heard Jonas use foul language before; Jonas tended to say 'darn it' when something was annoying him. He watched Jonas take a seat on the couch, headed upstairs, then came down, going into the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later. "Here," he smiled, "have some juice."
"No."
"It's just juice. If you're not going to eat, fine. But please drink something."
Jonas reluctantly took a sip.
"C'mon, drink up," Jack nodded. "It's good for you."
Jonas finished it, standing, walking toward the door. "This was a bad idea. Take me back to base now."
"I can't do that."
"You have to."
"The only thing I have to do is make sure you calm down."
"I don't want to calm the fuck down! I want to...." Jonas blinked as his vision began to blur. "What did you do?" He fell forward into Jack's arms. "You drugged me."
"I'm sorry Jonas," Jack murmured into his ear.
"Wanna go home."
"I promise, I'll take you home."
Jonas shoved him away, the room spinning. "I loved you and you left me."
"You loved me?" Jack asked, more then a bit surprised.
"Hate you now...your fault...."
Jack managed to catch him before he fell, half-carrying Jonas to the guestroom, laying him on the bed. He brushed the hair from Jonas' brow, and it was only then that he realized he had tears in his own eyes, Jonas' words sinking in. He slid to the floor beside the bed, wiping the tears away, the guilt finding its way into his gut. "I'm sorry...so sorry." He fell asleep like that, listening to Jonas' breathing.
He woke a few hours later to the sounds of crashes in the bathroom, things being thrown. He heard the footsteps returning, standing to face Jonas, who was holding a bottle of pills.
"Valium?"
Jack nodded. "I just wanted you to sleep."
"I want to go *home*."
"So you've said two dozen times. I'm just asking that you stay for a couple of more days, let me do what I have to do to take care of this, then, if you still want to, I will take you home myself. You have my word."
"That's worth shit to me."
"I wouldn't have left you if I thought...."
"WOULDN'T YOU?! I thought you liked me, but I was wrong, wasn't I? I saw you talking to Corcoran before you left, nodding towards me, the two of you smiling at each other. You told him to take care of me."
Jack saw where he was going and decided to stop it right then. "What? You think that I set this up? Jonas, I told him to make sure you stayed in one piece, nothing more. I didn't want anything to happen to you."
"Oh, I'm sure you did, *sir*."
"You bastard," Jack growled, pushing him back until Jonas was against the door. "If I wanted you hurt I'd have done it myself, not let a third party take care of it."
"You don't understand," Jonas whispered. "You *can't*. You've never been forced."
"I *do* know," Jack became contrite, voice softening. "I know the pain, the humiliation. You scream for it to stop, you beg, then you just close your eyes and pray that it'll be over soon."
Jonas' whole body froze.
"And you think you're not a man anymore."
"How did you know that?"
"Been there, Jonas. Iraqi prisons are no paradise."
"They made me like it."
"I find that difficult to believe."
"I got...they made me...I had an orgasm. That means I liked it."
"No, you didn't like it. Your body just reacted."
"I never had sex like that before."
"It wasn't sex," Jack clarified. "It was rape. And rape is about power, nothing more."
"They made me...they made me put my mouth...I didn't want to...I didn't...."
"I know," Jack soothed as best he could. "I should have protected you, kept you safe."
"It wasn't your fault, it was mine," Jonas sobbed. "I must have done something to make them...."
"That's not true. And you *will* heal. It's going to take time, but it will happen. I promise you."
"Nobody will ever love me. Once they find out...."
"I love you," Jack blurted out.
"No you don't. You feel sorry for me."
"I don't feel sorry for anyone!" Jack shoved him away without thinking. "Do you think that I would do this just because I felt sorry for you?!"
Jonas felt afraid again and that fear was in his eyes.
"Jonas, I...."
Jonas backed further away, sitting on the bed, pulling his knees to his chest. "I want to go home."
"Okay," Jack agreed. "You can go back to Kelowna in the morning."
"Now."
"It's two o'clock in the morning. I don't want to wake the General in the middle of the night. Just a few more hours."
Jonas didn't look happy but he nodded and Jack went to his own room, checking on him a little while later. The younger man had fallen asleep and Jack called Hammond, explaining the situation.
"Corcoran is still on P3X-984."
"Order them back George. But I don't want them to know why. And we're going to have to keep this quiet."
"I know. Any ideas how?"
"Oh yeah," Jack answered.
"You can't kill them."
"I know sir. It would be a lot easier if I could. I'll think of something."
"Jack, do you...."
Jack felt a small smile on his face. "Yeah George, I do. I wasn't sure before, but I am now. He got under my skin...into my heart. How, I have *no* idea. All I do know, is that I can't let him go back to Kelowna." He hung up the phone, going to check on Jonas, seeing him in the throes of a nightmare. He gently shook him awake, careful to stay out of range should Jonas decide to swing a punch. When he saw Jonas' eyes were open, he held him, thankful Jonas was allowing it.
"How long does it take before the nightmares go away?"
"They don't," Jack said honestly, pulling back a bit to look at him. "But over time you learn to cope with them, that it's the past."
"I know you didn't want that to happen to me. I'm sorry for accusing you."
"I'm sorry for leaving you," Jack smiled. "And since we each know the other is sorry, we can stop saying it. Now, even though it's the middle of the night, I'm hungry. You want something to eat?"
"No."
"I won't drug your food, if that's what you're worried about."
"I don't trust you."
"Fair enough," Jack answered. "You can open a can of something for yourself. You pick what you want."
Jonas nodded, following Jack downstairs. He rifled the pantry, taking out a can of chili, eating straight from the can.
"You want something to drink?"
"No."
"Jonas, if you don't want something from the fridge, drink tap water. Unless you think I drugged the pipes."
Jonas' eyes grew wide.
"Fer crying out loud!" Jack filled a glass with tap water, drank half and handed it to Jonas, who hesitated, but drank. "Good. Now, it's still late and we both need rest. We'll head back to the Mountain in a few hours and I will ensure you go back to Kelowna. Agreed?"
"Yes sir."
"Jack. My name is Jack, not sir."
Jonas just nodded and headed back to the guestroom. "Goodnight sir."
"We're going to get through this kid," Jack muttered to himself. "I don't know how, but we will." He then made a phone call to Sam, then called Teal'c. They were his friends, his family, and now they were Jonas' also. They'd protect him, make things right.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jack woke up at six and stumbled downstairs to find Jonas sitting on the couch.
"I'm ready to leave sir."
"I'm not," Jack muttered. "I need coffee and a shower, and I need to walk the dog."
"I already did that sir. I figured out how to use the leash." Molly came in and jumped on the couch, licking Jonas' face. "Why does she keep doing that?"
"Doggie kisses; she likes you." Jack snickered as Molly attacked Jonas' face. "And stop calling me sir when we're off duty."
"Yes sir, Colonel."
Jack just rolled his eyes, made his coffee and went upstairs to get ready.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jonas was packing up his notebooks when Corcoran came into his lab. He backed away, until he was against the wall.
"Something you wanted Corcoran?" Jack asked from the doorway.
Corcoran turned around, only to face Jack and Teal'c.
"I only wanted to say good-bye to Quinn," Corcoran sneered.
"And why is that?" Jack asked. "Jonas isn't going anywhere."
"What?" Jonas was shocked. "But you promised...."
"You, however," Jack smiled like a cobra, "are going to Leavenworth, along with Seritas, Lowell and Vargas."
"On what charge?" Corcoran asked.
"The four of you were caught on camera committing a bank robbery."
Corcoran chuckled. "I'd like to see ya make that stick O'Neill."
"You can either cop to that charge," Jack narrowed his eyes, "or you can get locked in a room with Teal'c." Jack paused. "Did you know that Teal'c here has enough strength to rip a hole in your gut with his bare hands and pull your internal organs out?"
"And it is something I enjoy doing," Teal'c added.
"He wanted it," Corcoran nodded to Jonas. "He begged for it."
"I told you to stop," Jonas whispered. "You hurt me."
"I'll admit to nothing," Corcoran shook his head. "If Seritas, Lowell and Vargas want to admit it, that's their business. And I'm not afraid of Teal'c either. He touches me...."
"SG19 REPORT TO THE GATEROOM!" Hammond's voice came blaring through the speakers.
"Sorry O'Neill. Duty calls." Corcoran laughed as he headed to the locker room to get changed.
Jonas was angry. "How could you?"
"SG19 are going to a planet called Alavaran, which is *not* on our list of addresses," Jack said calmly. "After they exit the gate, it's going to vanish." Jack gave him a small smile. "The Asgard consider rape a more heinous crime then murder."
Jonas' mouth fell open. "No. You can't do that."
"Jonas," Jack began, "you deserve justice, they deserve punishment."
"Colonel, no one deserves that. What about your system of trials?"
"Alavaran is a prison planet," Teal'c added. "Many races send their criminals there."
"I thought...."
"I know what you thought," Jack told him. "I would have loved to just send them somewhere and leave them to die. But that makes me no better then they are."
"I will take my leave," Teal'c inclined his head. "Make your decision for the right reason's JonasQuinn. But remember you have allies here," he glanced at Jack, "and perhaps more."
"He's talking in riddles," Jonas said, staring after Teal'c.
"He does that sometimes," Jack smiled. "Look, I promised to let you go home and I will. Nobody is going to force you to stay. But if you decide to stay, you don't have to live here, on the base."
Jonas looked at his notebooks, then up at Jack. "Where will I live?"
"With me."
"With you sir? Why do you want me to live with you?"
"Because every recipe I have is for two. Everything I cook, half of it goes in the garbage." He saw the questioning look on Jonas' face. "Hey, I don't expect anything from you. Just friendship."
"Can I play with the dog?"
"You betcha."
"Okay," Jonas answered quietly. "Thank you sir. For everything."
"Look, kid, when we leave base, you have to call me Jack."
"Yes sir. I understand."
"Good. Then you unpack and I'll come get ya when I'm done with my work."
"Colonel, what is everyone going to think of me, now that they know what happened?"
"Nobody knows Jonas, except your...family."
"My family?"
"Teal'c, Sam, Janet, Hammond, and me. No one else will ever know what happened."
"SG19?"
"As far as the Pentagon is concerned, they pissed off the Asgard. Thor is taking care of it. There will be no questions asked."
"You're a good man Jack O'Neill."
"I like to think so," Jack grinned.
Jack cleared Jonas' new living arrangements with the General. The reasons that would be given to the Pentagon were that Jonas needed to learn more about Earth, and living with the Colonel would be the best way.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two hours.
Two hours since they had moved Jonas' things to Jack's house.
Two hours since Jack had shown him the Playstation2, the state-of-the-art entertainment system, the top-of-the-line computer.
Two hours since Jack had introduced Jonas to Chinese take-out and fortune cookies.
And Jonas still hadn't smiled.
And Jack was getting worried. It scared him to think that Corcoran and his men had killed the bright-eyed, open-minded, happy-go-lucky man that was Jonas Quinn.
"You want to go to the zoo tomorrow?"
"No sir. I have work in the lab."
"Jack. And we have the week off. Hammond's orders."
"There's an art exhibit at the museum I'd like to see."
Jack frowned. "An art exhibit?"
Jonas ducked his head. "We don't have to go."
"No. An art exhibit sounds...interesting."
"We can go to one of those sporting events you told me about."
"Well, it just so happens the Avalanche are playing tomorrow night and being that I am NORAD's 2IC, I have two front row seats, right behind the goalie."
"What's a goalie?"
"You're gonna like hockey, Jonas."
Jonas stifled a yawn. "If you say so Jack...sir."
"Time for all good scientist's to go to bed," Jack smiled.
"Yes sir."
"Jonas?" Jonas turned around. "This is going to sound very stupid but...could you smile for me?"
Jonas turned away. "Goodnight sir."
Jack sighed in defeat. "Goodnight Jonas."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jack rolled over and hit a body. "What are you doing in my bed?"
"I feel safe here."
Jack's eyes opened a bit and he turned on the light. "Nightmares?"
"Yeah. I don't want to sleep alone."
As Jack shifted a bit closer, he felt naked flesh. Before he could move away, Jonas took his arm and pulled him close.
"I want to know that it can be done with love."
"You know that," Jack stated. "You know that sex can be gentle and caring, with no pain and mutual consent."
Jonas just stared at him.
"You do know that." Jack paused. "Don't you?"
"They took something I had never given to anyone."
Jack's guilt overtook him again. "I obviously didn't know."
"It wasn't your fault. I know that now."
"It wasn't yours either."
"I know that also." Jonas opened his mouth to say something, then shut it.
"What's on your mind, Jonas?"
"Will you touch me, Jack?"
"How about I just hold you for now? Love is much more then just sex."
"Love?"
"I told you I loved you. I don't say that to just anybody."
"Even after what they did, you still love me?"
"Yes, I do. Now, you told me you loved me, then said you hated me. Which is it?"
"I can't hate you. I wanted to so badly, but I can't." Jonas said.
"Does that mean you love me?" Jack asked, a small smile playing at his lips. Jonas nodded to him. "I'm glad. Now go to sleep."
"Goodnight Jack." Jonas snuggled into Jack's chest. "Can we have waffles for breakfast?"
Jack tilted his head, looking at Jonas' face, and felt his heart warm up.
Jonas was smiling.
All was right with the world again.
FIN
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Liked it? Hated it? Lemme Know....The Huntress